


Crumbling Walls

by alchemicink



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Angst and Humor, Coming Out, Friends With Benefits, Hanging out in bars, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, This romance moves faster than a glacier but still slower than molasses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-24 22:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 37,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3786043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alchemicink/pseuds/alchemicink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inoo and Takaki both had secrets to keep and secrets to share.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One: The First

**Author's Note:**

> So all I actually wanted to do was write just the first scene of this fic, but as always, it spiraled out of control. I've been working on this story for almost an entire year. Whenever I have trouble writing something, I lie facedown on my floor. And this story has made me well-acquainted with my carpet! But I liked how it turned out. I hope you all reading this will find something here to connect with in some way. 
> 
> I should probably add some disclaimers. Firstly, there are 2 OCs here. They're necessary but minor characters. Secondly, there's no sex here, so sorry if that's what you're looking for. Thirdly, I don't drink alcohol, I've only ever been to a handful of bars, and I don't go around making out with boys. And guess what three things are abundant in this fic? Yeah, alcohol, bars, and making out. LOL So I'm just gonna go ahead and apologize for all of that. ^^;; Fourthly, it's not meant to be set during any particular tour, so don't think about it too much. And lastly as always, these aren't meant to be completely accurate representations of the real people. 
> 
> On a serious note: Warnings for what probably amounts to alcohol abuse on occasion, mentions of an emotionally abusive past relationship, and some slight incidences of homophobia in part 3. If any of this bothers you, please don't read. 
> 
> So now if you've made it through my long rambling author's note, please enjoy the fic! And thank you, as always, for taking the time to read my writing! <3

By now, Inoo was used to settling in to hotel rooms while on tour. It had been seven years since they were all thrown together, a mismatched hodge-podge group, but they’d grown up together. Hey Say JUMP was a group that worked well with each other. Countless tours later, things had become routine. Things had become predictable. 

But this time, it was different. A few members had shuffled around their usual rooming arrangements and Inoo had somehow been paired up with Takaki. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever shared a room with Takaki before. Not in a long while at least.

As Inoo checked over everything in his suitcase, he watched Takaki from the corner of his eye. He had just grabbed a beer and was sprawled out on his bed, slowly sinking into the mountain of pillows. The hotel room had a fully stocked mini-bar, which wasn’t perhaps the best decision management had ever made for the group, but it had been a long day of concert rehearsals and Inoo didn’t think a bit of alcohol would be a bad idea right now. 

In fact, Inoo thought alcohol would be an _excellent_ idea right now. He’d been in a depressed mood for months, pushing his sad feelings down as deep as they could go, trying to put on a happy face for everyone. But he was tired. And the depressing thoughts kept swirling around in his head. It felt like a wall was pressing down on him, trapping him. He reached inside the mini-bar and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and grabbed a shot glass, hoping it would be enough of a distraction.

“Woah now,” Takaki said, “don’t forget we have a concert tomorrow afternoon.”

Inoo shrugged. “Which means the morning is free to sleep off the hangover.” He pulled out another shot glass and held it out towards Takaki. “Wanna join me?” 

Takaki looked like he’d only contemplated the offer for about half a second before he swapped his unopened beer for the tiny shot glass in Inoo’s outstretched hand. “Can’t let you make dumb decisions alone,” he said.

Instead of sitting at the table or on the bed, Inoo settled down right between the two hotel beds and began to pour. He stretched out so that his bare feet brushed along the edge of the bed cover Takaki was leaning against. He knocked back the first shot and winced at the burning sensation, but it didn’t take long for the alcohol to begin to kick in. Inoo could feel the warmth spread out through his body. Takaki made a strange sort of growling noise after the whiskey slid down his throat. Inoo laughed at the sound.

“I don’t even really like whiskey,” Takaki admitted.

“Well then, let’s make this fun.” Inoo swished the contents of his glass around before he drank again. “Wanna play a game?” The more distractions, the better. 

Takaki smirked and refilled his glass. “What did you have in mind?” 

“ _Never have I ever_ ,” Inoo answered. Perhaps the whiskey was tapping into his nostalgic veins since that was a game he used to play with his friends in high school. It was simple. One person would say something that they’d never done and if the other person _had_ done it, he’d have to take a drink. “You played before?”

Takaki nodded.

Once the alcohol really started to kick in and they got progressively drunker, the game became more fun. The confessions got more and more ridiculous and they were getting to be so drunk that they couldn’t remember the rules of the game or when to drink. But the distraction was working well until Takaki mentioned something about kissing and Inoo drunkenly blurted out “never have I ever kissed a girl” before he could even stop the words from leaving his mouth. He frowned, too annoyed at himself to even play it off as a drunken lie.

Takaki tilted his head curiously before speaking. “Not even once?”

Suddenly this conversation was entirely too embarrassing. Inoo shook his head ever so slightly, wishing that he’d never brought the subject up. It was what he’d been drinking to avoid. Taking the whiskey bottle in his hand, he tipped it back and drank straight from the bottle, rules of the game be damned. 

Takaki took the bottle from his hands when he tried to set it back down. He was squinting at Inoo like he was trying very hard to process something. “You… want me to find you a girl then?” he offered, but he sounded unsure of himself. He ignored his own shot glass and drank from the bottle too.

“No,” Inoo exclaimed, a little too forcefully. “I’m not interested in a girl.” Again, the words he’d been holding back for entirely too long slipped past his lips before he even realized what he was saying. He hadn’t meant to confess all this to Takaki. He hadn’t meant to confess this to anyone.

“Oh,” Takaki said. And then it hit him. “ _Oh_. So are you…?” The word _gay_ went unspoken.

Inoo suddenly found himself very intrigued by the patterns of the hotel carpet. He ran his fingers over the rough fabric, focusing on the coarseness of it, before answering. “You can’t tell anyone, okay?”

Takaki took a long gulp from the bottle and then winced again. He handed it back to Inoo. “I won’t tell,” he promised and then glanced at the almost empty whiskey bottle. “Hell, I might not even remember tomorrow.” 

Inoo poured another shot. “I didn’t tell anyone because I don’t want them to judge me and hate me, you know. You probably think I’m weird and gross now, don’t you? It’s so damn frustrating. I’m just going to miserable forever because I can’t even tell anyone.” These were the things he was trying to avoid by drinking the alcohol in the first place. So much for that idea. He hadn’t felt like his usual self in months since he’d been trying to hold everything in.

Takaki was squinting at him again, and Inoo could swear that he could almost see the gears turning in his head as he processed this new information. “It doesn’t bother me,” Takaki finally announced. He poured one final shot each for them to finish off the bottle. 

“In fact,” Takaki continued, “I have a confession to make too.” 

“What’s that?”

“I’m bisexual, you know, I like guys and girls.” Takaki looked Inoo in the eye and then quickly looked away again, like he just didn’t know how to react. He obviously wasn’t intending on spilling his secrets tonight either.

“Huh.” Inoo hadn’t been expecting that Takaki was hiding a secret of his own. It wasn’t exactly the same, but he still felt a little more connected to his bandmate now. “How did you figure that out?” Now he was entirely too curious for his own good. Damn whiskey.

Now it was Takaki’s turn to stare down at the carpet as he thought of the right words to say. Inoo watched him as a frown marred his face. “There was a guy… about three years ago…” He trailed off but didn’t seem like he was going to continue.

Inoo leaned forward because he was surprised. “Who was it?” 

“You don’t know him,” Takaki shook his head. “And I promised him I’d keep it a secret to protect his reputation.” 

Inoo nodded. He was still curious about it but he couldn’t focus enough while drunk to keep asking. Not while he was also distracted by the weird feeling of almost-relief he felt by finally admitting to someone that he was gay. 

“So back to your original declaration,” Takaki began. “If you haven’t kissed a girl, does that mean you _have_ kissed a guy before?”

“…I haven’t kissed either,” Inoo admitted quietly. Back when he was younger, he wasn’t even all that interested in dating people, and now that he _was_ interested, he didn’t think he would actually be able to date anyone. Normally, he would play this confession off as a joke and act all nonchalant about it, but he didn’t want to pretend anymore. He’d been pretending for too long.

Takaki leaned forward, startling Inoo with the abruptly uncoordinated motion. “Do you want to just get it over with then?” he offered, his voice dropping to an almost whisper. 

Perhaps it was the large amount of whiskey in his system or perhaps it was just because he liked the sound of Takaki’s rough voice, but Inoo couldn’t think of a good reason to say no. “Okay,” he whispered back.

Takaki picked up his shot glass and indicated that Inoo do the same. “Cheers,” he said, holding up the amber-colored liquid so that it caught the light of the nearby lamp. They both downed the whiskey in one go, and when they set their glasses back down, Takaki met Inoo’s eyes and moved closer. Takaki’s hand found the back of Inoo’s head and gently pushed him closer. Not sure if he was feeling drunkenly nauseous or just nervous, Inoo closed his eyes. He felt Takaki’s lips press against his own in a way that sent sudden shivers down his spine. The kiss was softer than he expected and it felt wonderful. When Takaki finally pulled away, he lingered for a moment, meeting Inoo’s now-open eyes again, and all Inoo could smell was the whiskey on their breath.

“What did you think?” Takaki asked, still using that rough sort of seductive voice.

“I have to throw up,” Inoo announced, ruining the moment. He clambered up from the floor, trying not to lose his balance and then stumbled towards the bathroom. “But it’s not you, it’s the whiskey,” he clarified before he shut the door behind him. He could hear Takaki’s amused laugh until the door clicked shut. 

Later he would have to think again about everything that had happened this night. But for now, he had more pressing matters to take care of. Leaning over the toilet, he retched.

\---

There was silence in the car as Takaki concentrated on navigating through the heavy traffic on the highway. From the passenger seat, Inoo didn’t say anything to interrupt. Instead, he focused on watching the scenery they sped by and thought about everything that had happened since his confession to Takaki in the hotel room a few days ago. The next morning they had both woken up with horrible hangovers and fuzzy memories of their drinking session the night before. But the kiss they’d shared… _that_ was still firmly etched in Inoo’s memory. They didn’t talk about it much at first as they’d quietly sipped coffee together in the hotel room. 

“The rest of JUMP can’t know, okay?” Inoo had finally broken the silence. They were sitting opposite each other at the small table in the room. “You might understand, but I’m sure they won’t.” 

Takaki nodded and looked down at the black coffee swirling around in his mug. “I told you before that I wouldn’t tell. I’ve got my own secrets too, so I understand.”

Inoo had expected this conversation to be more awkward but it really wasn’t so bad. Perhaps the bonding over a shared hangover helped. Inoo refilled his mug.

“So can I ask you a question?” Takaki said, looking a little hesitant. He pushed the cream and sugar over to Inoo who nodded in response. “Are you looking for a boyfriend right now? I mean, do you think you want to date someone? It’s difficult, I know, having to keep it secret and all.” 

Inoo spent a little bit longer than necessary stirring the sugar in the coffee while he thought about it. He listened to the quiet _clink_ of the spoon against the edges of the mug. “Sure, I’d like a boyfriend, but I’m not sure it would ever work out. We’d have to keep it a secret. You’re the only person who knows. I guess I’m just gonna have to ignore any feelings that I have.” He sighed as he realized he was complaining a lot. “Sorry. What about you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you said you’re bisexual. What are you looking for?”

Takaki shrugged. He’d already drained his coffee mug down to the dregs. “I don’t know. But I’m not really looking for anyone right now.”

Inoo tapped his finger on the table. He frowned as his thoughts turned to his worries about everything, about not being able to have a relationship if he wanted one, about having to hide this part of himself from everyone.

“We should go to gay bar,” Takaki suddenly suggested right out of the blue.

If Inoo had just taken a sip of his coffee, he would have choked on it. “Excuse me?” 

“I think you need some fun,” Takaki explained. He put on a happy face but he actually looked a little concerned for Inoo. “You are stressing yourself out about all this when you shouldn’t be.”

“Sometimes I don’t understand anything that goes through your head.” 

Takaki smiled, choosing to take that as a compliment. “I know of a place we can go. It would be no strings attached and nothing to worry about.” 

“I don’t know… I don’t really hang out in bars very often,” Inoo said. It was strange for him to actually not feel confident about a situation, to not be able to make jokes and such. This was an area where he felt rather inexperienced. It felt like he was just barely keeping his head above water. But it _did_ feel nice to be able to discuss this stuff with Takaki instead of keeping things locked up inside again.

“I can be your teacher,” Takaki said with an obliviously innocent grin. And that was just enough to shake away Inoo’s doubting thoughts.

“What, are you like my friend-with-benefits now?” Inoo joked.

Takaki rolled his eyes and laughed. “No sex. Just kissing,” he insisted. 

Inoo grabbed both of their coffee mugs and set them beside the dirty coffeemaker. “I can live with that.” It was weird but Inoo kind of liked it.

Inoo was torn away from his thoughts by the sound of Takaki’s voice echoing through the silent car. “Are you asleep over there?” he asked. 

“Sorry, I was just thinking.” The scene outside had changed from the tall buildings of Tokyo to a more rural setting with houses spaced out more distantly from one another. Inoo turned from the window to face Takaki. “Are we almost there?”

Takaki nodded but didn’t take his eyes off the road. They had a day off from rehearsals and concerts, so the two of them had decided to make the trip to the bar. But since they had the whole day, they’d decided to have some fun and do some sightseeing along the way. Takaki had told him about a park he knew with good hiking trails.

“I’m excited,” Inoo said. “I haven’t been hiking in a while. I didn’t know you liked the mountains too, Mr. Always-at-the-Beach.” 

“Contrary to popular belief, I go other places sometimes too. But seriously, the view at the top is amazing,” Takaki explained, sounding like a proud kid showing off a new toy. Inoo thought the enthusiasm was cute. He and Takaki had been working together for a long time, even before they were in JUMP, but they’d never really hung out very often. Inoo wondered why that was. 

“Amazing,” Inoo breathed, repeating Takaki’s earlier description as they reached the end of the trail at the top of the hill. The view overlooked a good distance out into the countryside. It was a lot of rice fields and little houses, which wasn’t unordinary, but still looked pretty from where he was standing, nonetheless. He pulled out his phone to snap a few good photos of the scenery. And he even snuck one picture of Takaki gazing pensively out across the open space. “How did you find this place?”

“I just drive around sometimes and check out whatever I see. There’s really no one at this park ever, so I come here once in a while to get away from everything. Like when work is too overwhelming, you know.” Takaki balanced himself on a large rock sticking out of the ground, throwing his arms out like he was balancing himself on a tightrope. 

“Thanks for sharing this with me,” Inoo said quietly. 

When they got back into Takaki’s car, Inoo sank down into the passenger seat. He wasn’t out of shape with all the dancing they did all the time, but he had to admit that the hiking was a bit exhausting. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just thinking about tonight. Not gonna lie, I’m kinda nervous.” He knew that he shouldn’t be. It was just a bar, after all. But there was a prickling feeling of tenseness anyway. 

“Well the alcohol will help with that,” Takaki joked but then turned serious. He had his car keys in his hand about to put them in the ignition, but just dropped them into a cup holder instead. “What are you worried about?” 

“I don’t know.”

“We’re just going there to talk and have fun with new people. People like us. People who can relate to what you’re going through,” Takaki said with a smile. He did his best to look reassuring and raise Inoo’s spirits. “And maybe you can kiss someone if things go well,” he added as a joke. 

Inoo frowned.

“What, is _that_ what you’re really worried about? Because I was just joking about that.” 

Inoo gave Takaki an annoyed look.

“Are you asking me for more practice?” Takaki teased, not even bothering to hide his smirk. 

The casual tone and light mood of Takaki’s suggestion made Inoo feel a bit better. “You are entirely too eager to kiss me,” he answered.

“Weren’t you the one who called me your friend with benefits the other day?”

“Good point.”

“My offer still stands.” 

Inoo wasn’t going to lie to himself. The idea of kissing Takaki again seemed very appealing. What the hell, he decided. It might make the nervous energy go away. Best not to think about it too much, he told himself. “Okay.”

Takaki grinned. “The backseat has more room,” he said, pointing to the empty space behind them. 

Inoo slid into the cushioned back seat opposite of Takaki and tried to look less awkward and more natural. In the short few moments it took to switch seats, Inoo was already second-guessing his decision. Takaki was his coworker. Never in a million years would he have imagined that they would be making out in the backseat of his car and calling it “practice.” 

Takaki reached his hand out in a gesture to close the gap between them. “It might work better if you moved a little closer.” 

“This is so weird,” Inoo muttered with a sort of strangled-sounding laugh.

“Relax,” Takaki said, leaning closer just like he had the night with the whiskey. But things were different this time. They were both completely sober. “No one’s here to judge you. No one will ever know. This is our secret.”

Inoo was surprised at how that last sentence sent pleasant chills down his spine. It was a little bit thrilling he had to admit to be sneaking around like this. So, pushing down his apprehension, Inoo leaned forward as well, not sure whether he should watch Takaki’s eyes or his lips. But he didn’t have to think too long since Takaki moved those last few centimeters and his lips met Inoo’s. Not ever thinking anymore, Inoo gave in and closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling. Takaki’s lips were still just as soft as last time, even as Takaki put a little more force into his kiss. Inoo felt Takaki’s hands move to rest on his shoulders, so Inoo wrapped one of his arms around Takaki’s waist. 

When Takaki pulled away, they both were breathing as though they couldn’t quite catch their breath. And then Inoo gathered his courage and took the opportunity to initiate the kiss. Takaki eagerly kissed him back. It all felt strange but good. 

Without warning, Takaki broke the kiss again. Inoo was disappointed until Takaki quickly began to press soft kisses along Inoo’s jaw line and then down to his throat. Inoo tilted his head back against the seat, relishing in the touch on a sensitive part of his skin. He couldn’t stop himself from letting out a quiet moan. 

The sound made Takaki pause and when Inoo opened his eyes, he saw Takaki’s smirk. “Enjoying this, aren’t you?” he asked, looking rather happy. 

“Don’t stop now, teacher,” Inoo said, “I don’t think I’ve gotten the proper technique down yet.” 

“Then let’s review what we’ve learned so far,” Takaki murmured and captured Inoo’s lips once more. 

\---

Inoo wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting (although perhaps he thought there would be more drag queens), but it turned out that the gay bar was pretty much the same as a normal bar. The only difference was that he was free to flirt with any guy who seemed interested.

“How did you find this place anyway?” Inoo asked Takaki after they’d both gotten a drink from the bar. 

Takaki took a sip of his drink before answering cryptically “recommendation from an old friend.” His eyes were focused on the crowd as if he was looking for someone. 

“Was that the guy you used to be with?” Inoo asked.

Takaki narrowed his eyes but then tried to play it off as no big deal. “ _That’s_ not really important right now.” Inoo could tell that this was apparently a sensitive subject. “What’s important,” Takaki continued, “is that we find you someone to talk to. What’s your type?”

“Broad shoulders,” Inoo answered instantly. Takaki looked almost surprised at his quick response. “And um… nice hands, I guess. A friendly smile?” 

“Why do you sound so unsure?” Takaki laughed.

“I don’t usually think much past the shoulders…” Inoo admitted. It was still strange, Inoo thought, to be able to talk about the kind of guy he liked with someone. He got tired sometimes of having to talk about girls with his bandmates and for magazine interviews.

Takaki grinned and picked up his beer again. “What a weird fetish.”

Inoo rolled his eyes. “Shoulders aren’t weird,” he said and then added sarcastically, “I’m sure you don’t have anything kinky to hide at all.” 

“Of course I don’t,” Takaki insisted, “I like eyes.” 

Inoo gave up the argument for now, but he filed away that information for later. Eventually he’d figure Takaki out and then he would tease him mercilessly in return. 

“Hmm…” Takaki looked around the room for someone to talk to. “How about that guy by the bar?” He pointed in the direction of the person he was talking about. 

Inoo looked across the room at the guy in question. It did look like he had nice, broad shoulders from this angle. “Not bad,” Inoo agreed.

“Alrighty then, off you go,” Takaki said and tried to shoo Inoo away with his hands. But the action ended up looking silly since he was trying not to spill his drink. 

“Alone?!”

“Yes! I think you can handle it.” Takaki didn’t stop waving his hands, and Inoo thought he looked super silly like that but he couldn’t stop a smile from coming across his nervous face. “When all else fails, talk about the weather,” he added.

“Hell no, we will _not_ be discussing the weather. I’m not desperate.” 

“Well then, just go say something weird like you usually do,” Takaki challenged. He finally set his drink down and gave Inoo a gentle push towards the bar. 

Inoo spun around real quick to take one last gulp of his own drink and then he crossed the room to say hello.

\---

Takaki watched Inoo from a distance. He wasn’t too worried about him. Inoo was always the one who could easily talk to people even if he was nervous. It looked like things were going well since the two of them were laughing every now and then, and it didn’t look like there were too many awkward pauses. 

“Long time, no see,” a familiar voice came from his right, distracting him from his observations.

Takaki turned to see the face of one of the bar regulars smiling at him. It had been a while since Takaki had seen this friend, but he hadn’t changed much. “It’s been a long time, Riku. How’s everything?” 

“Same old, same old,” Riku said with a laugh, and then gestured for Takaki to sit down at a nearby table with him. “Work, eat, beer, sleep. Repeat, repeat, repeat.” 

“Yeah, I understand,” Takaki laughed too. He hadn’t been sure if his old friends were still coming to the bar, but he was glad to see Riku. “Is Shinji here with you too?” 

Riku shook his head. “Not tonight. He had work, but if you come back again soon, I’m sure you’ll get to see him too. We’ve missed you.” Riku’s smile faded a bit and he looked a bit more serious. “We didn’t think you were going to come here anymore, but I’m glad you did. Who’s your friend?” 

Takaki glanced back over to Inoo. He and the guy were still chatting away, looking like they were having fun. “A coworker,” he explained. “He’s not really _out_ , you know, and that’s been bothering him for a while I think. I thought coming here might cheer him up some. He’s happier than I’ve seen him in months.” 

Riku nodded in understanding. “I remember that time in my life when I had to hide that part of myself. It’s tough. But it good that he’s got you though, right?”

“Yeah, he’s got me,” he said as he tore his eyes away from Inoo and the guy again. He looked down at his drink and frowned as he realized it was empty. That was his limit, he remembered. He had to be sober enough to drive home later. 

“Then why is he over there flirting with someone else instead of with you?” 

The question hit Takaki harder than it should have. He shrugged in an attempt to look nonchalant about it. “We’re not dating.” 

“But you like him, right? You want him to be happy,” Riku observed. In the three years since he’d been to the bar, Takaki had forgotten just how perceptive Riku was when it came to understanding people. 

“We’re coworkers,” Takaki repeated again. There was still a bitter aftertaste lingering in his mouth from the beer and the memories this place was stirring up. “It’s complicated. And you know how I always fuck things up.” 

Riku gave him an intensely disapproving look as he crossed his arms across his chest. “No, you don’t.” 

“Why do you think it’s been three years since I’ve been here?” 

“Do you ever see _him_ anymore?” Riku asked. He looked concerned. 

Takaki knew exactly who he was referring to, but he wasn’t in the mood to talk about that guy right now. Takaki just shook his head and turned back to check on Inoo. To his surprise, Inoo was saying goodbye to the guy and walking back towards Takaki. He sat down in one of the empty chairs at the table.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” Inoo said with a friendly smile to Riku. 

“Just talking with an old friend.” Takaki resisted the urge to breathe a sigh of relief at Inoo’s interruption. That conversation was wandering into dangerous territory. 

“Oh,” Inoo said and looked at Riku again more closely, “is this the guy who…”

“No,” Takaki answered sharply, and gave Inoo’s ankle a subtle kick from under the table. Drunk Inoo really had no sense of propriety and he also didn’t want to give Riku a chance to start talking about the past. “This is Riku,” he introduced. “He’s a regular here.”

Inoo and Riku exchanged polite and friendly greetings. 

“So what happened to you and your guy?” Takaki asked. He didn’t tell Inoo that he’d been watching him to make sure everything was going okay. 

Inoo just shrugged before he began tapping his fingers on the table. “He was nice but we didn’t have much in common. I got his phone number though.” 

“I have taught you well, young one,” Takaki joked. He hoped silly comments would distract from the unpleasant mood he’d settled into during his conversation with Riku. 

“You didn’t teach me that, idiot,” Inoo teased. He grinned and Takaki could clearly see his rosy cheeks. “But you were right about one thing. I _am_ having fun.” 

“Come visit up here anytime,” Riku said. “Everybody is friendly and we always have a good time. And things are very discreet here if you’re worried about that,” he added. 

“I would like that,” Inoo nodded. Takaki watched as his eyes shone with a mix of slightly drunken happiness.

“Oh, and Thursdays are trivia night,” Riku continued. “I bet you’d be much better at trivia night than Takaki is.” 

“Hey,” Takaki whined.

“Sounds fun!” 

After that, the three of them talked for a long while until the crowd slowly started clearing out of the bar because it was getting so late. Takaki stretched and stood up, suggesting that they should probably head back home too. There were concert rehearsals again tomorrow before the group headed off to the next city on the tour. And the drive back home wasn’t exactly a short one. 

“I really enjoyed that,” Inoo said as Takaki pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road. Inoo was still a bit drunk and had twisted in his seat so that he could rest the side of his face against the cushion and also could face towards Takaki. Takaki could still see a glimpse of rosy cheeks whenever the streetlights shone through the windows at just the right angle.

“I thought you would,” Takaki said. “We can go again whenever you want.” 

“Yes definitely.” Inoo nodded which made half of his hair stick up against the seat. But he didn’t seem to care much what his hair looked like. There was a silence in the car for a while where Takaki thought Inoo might have fallen asleep until he spoke again. “I didn’t get to kiss anyone.” 

“There’s always next time,” Takaki said. He scanned the road for the upcoming turn he was supposed to make. He knew the way back home and there wasn’t much traffic on the road, but it was still an oppressive sort of darkness outside. The streetlights were spaced far apart in this area. 

“All that practice went to waste,” Inoo joked and when Takaki glanced over, he saw that Inoo was making a silly-looking pouty face with his lips pursed out like a duck. 

“I taught you the fundamentals,” Takaki insisted with a laugh he tried to cover up. “Those are not a waste!”

“But seriously,” Inoo said with a sudden change of tone, “thank you. For… I dunno, everything I guess. You didn’t have to do anything for me, but you did. Things haven’t been this nice in a long time.” 

“Everyone deserves to be happy, Inoo. Even you,” Takaki said. He wanted to face Inoo directly to show him how seriously he meant that, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the road while driving. 

“I’ll try to remember that.” Inoo’s voice sounded rather sleepy. That was probably partially the alcohol’s fault, but also probably because they’d spent half the day hiking too. Their bodies would probably regret all of it tomorrow when they were busy rearranging dance steps, but Takaki didn’t regret any bit of taking Inoo out for the day. They both needed it.

“Go to sleep,” Takaki commanded. “We’ve got practice tomorrow.” 

Inoo muttered some protest about not being tired but it wasn’t long before Takaki could hear soft snores coming from the passenger seat. Takaki drove on silently through the darkened roads leading back home, just enjoying the momentary peacefulness. 

\---

Inoo and Takaki ended up rooming together again during their stop in Nagoya. They had an afternoon concert scheduled instead of an evening one, so they had more free time to do things after the concert than usual. The whole group had dinner together at the hotel restaurant while discussing what they should do next. A lot of the suggestions involved going bar-hopping and checking out the local nightclubs, but Inoo wasn’t too interested in hanging out at a bar and pretending to be interested in pretty girls when they walked by. It was almost bad the way he felt. Now that he had Takaki to confide in, he had almost no patience for pretending anymore. Inoo kept trying to think of excuses not to go, but he was rapidly running out of ways to avoid Daiki’s insistent invitations. 

“I’m too tired to go,” Takaki said with an exaggerated yawn. He stretched too and Keito had to duck to avoid the elbow suddenly swinging towards his face. “I think I’m just going to watch a movie in the hotel room. Sorry guys, you can have fun without me.” He turned to Inoo. “Did you want to watch it with me? It’s that one we talked about the other day.” 

Inoo wracked his brain for a moment but couldn’t remember discussing any sort of movie with Takaki recently. He looked at Takaki again who was staring back at him with a rather intense look. And then it hit him. Takaki was just trying to rescue him from having to go out. 

“Oh, that movie!” Inoo nodded with probably a little too much enthusiasm. “Yeah. Sorry guys.” 

Daiki frowned at him but everyone else didn’t seem to mind that their plans would be short a few members this time. 

“You’re like my knight in shining armor,” Inoo said with a laugh as soon as they got back to the hotel room. 

“You are _hardly_ a damsel in distress,” Takaki scoffed in return. Inoo watched as he threw himself onto the bed and sank into the comforter with a contented sigh. After a moment, he rolled onto his side to face Inoo again. “So is there anything you actually want to do? Full disclosure: I don’t actually have a movie to watch.” 

“I knew that,” Inoo laughed. He plopped down beside Takaki on the bed and stretched out. “Honestly, I’m just really wiped out from the concert today. I don’t want to move.” 

“I know how you feel,” Takaki agreed. He rubbed his hands over his face in a gesture to wake himself up more before sitting up. “Do you want a drink? No whiskey this time,” he said in a mock-stern voice before breaking into a pleasant-sounding laugh. 

“You enjoyed the whiskey and you know it,” Inoo giggled in response but then shook his head. “No thanks. Not tonight.” He didn’t feel like he needed anything tonight. There wasn’t much bothering him and he was already feeling relaxed. 

“Okay then,” Takaki shrugged and laid back down on the bed. Inoo guessed that he had been asking more for Inoo’s sake than for himself. He closed his eyes for a moment and Inoo briefly wondered if he was going to sleep when he suddenly spoke. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

It caught Inoo off guard because Takaki was usually the sort of person to speak without thinking. Normally, he wouldn’t hesitate to ask something without regards for the consequences. It was that innocent sort of cluelessness that had always made him fit in well with the younger members of the group.

“Sure.” Inoo supposed that if he and Takaki were going to keep up this weird sort of relationship based on make-out sessions, Takaki had the right to ask him personal questions. 

“How did you know you were gay?”

“Hm…” Inoo hummed in thought and looked up at the ceiling while he thought of a way to answer the question. He’d never put it into words before. “I never had any sort of _a-ha!_ moment or anything like that. When I was younger, I was always more interested in boys. I just didn’t realize what that meant. And when I got older, everyone else went girl crazy and I just didn’t care. I kept waiting, you know, thinking that it would hit me eventually, but it never did. I just find men much more attractive. There’s nothing I can change about that.” He paused as memories swam to the surface. “There was one guy in college that I really liked, and I guess he’s what made me realize that these feelings weren’t going to go away.” 

“Did you say anything to him?” 

Inoo laughed and it was tinged with a hint of bitterness. “No, of course not. He had a girlfriend that he was very in love with the whole time I knew him. That’s what’s so frustrating, you know. Not being able to be open about who I like. That’s when I realized I’d have to keep it all a secret.” He sighed and covered up his eyes with his hand for a moment so that he could regain his composure. He’d talked too much and made himself upset again. And he didn’t like being upset in front of people. When he uncovered his face again, Takaki was watching him with a frown.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Because I wish I could do more to help you,” Takaki explained. “It’s miserable, I know.” 

Inoo shook his head. He didn’t want Takaki to be upset for him too. “Honestly though, you don’t know how much it’s helped me to be able to tell you at least. It’s like some weight off of my shoulders.” Inoo was feeling fidgety now, so he sat back up and peeled off his socks. 

“It’s kinda like I’m helping you hold an umbrella to give you a break from the rain,” Takaki said. 

Inoo couldn’t help but laugh at Takaki’s unexpected but completely appropriate metaphor. “Are you a poet now?” 

Takaki grinned. “I’m smarter than everyone thinks I am, you know.” 

“I know.” Inoo knew that Takaki might not be anywhere near a textbook genius, but he was always thoughtful and considerate of people, which was probably a more important trait if he was being honest. 

“So can I ask you the same question?” Inoo brought them back to the original topic because he was curious now. “How did you know that you liked girls and boys? I mean, couldn’t you have just stuck to dating women and never even realized it?” 

Now it was Takaki’s turn to stare up at the ceiling in thought. His eyes narrowed and he pursed his lips as he gathered his thoughts. “I don’t really know. I just figured out that I could fall in love with anyone. It doesn’t really matter what gender they are.” 

“But you had a boyfriend before, right? That guy you mentioned…”

Takaki scowled and looked like one of the yankee characters he’d played on TV before. “You’re not gonna stop asking me about that, are you? I wouldn’t say we were exactly dating. Almost maybe. If things had worked out differently.” He shrugged and tried to look like he didn’t care. But Inoo could see his eyes clearly.

“Sorry I brought it up.” 

Takaki made a dismissive gesture with his hand, waving off the sympathy. “Don’t worry about it.” 

The atmosphere in the room had taken a darker turn, ruining the fun they’d started off with. Inoo should have expected it with such a heavy topic of discussion, but he missed the happier tone from before. He felt like he needed to fix it.

“Hey Takaki,” he began. He was still sitting up on the bed even though Takaki was lying on his back.

“Hm?” Takaki looked away from the ceiling. He had apparently been getting lost in his memories.

“Can I kiss you again?” 

Takaki let out a hearty laugh at the unexpected question. Even if Takaki said no, Inoo thought, at least he had succeeded in cheering him up a bit. He waited to see what Takaki would say.

“Now who’s the one too eager to kiss someone?” he smirked as he sat up too.

Inoo grinned, feeling much better than before as well. “So that’s a yes?” 

“Why are you still talking and not kissing me?” Takaki teased.

Inoo thought, perhaps, that this should still be awkward. That, as bandmates, they should not be making out in their hotel room while on tour. They were barely friends, let alone lovers. But Inoo remembered how much he had enjoyed kissing him before, and he thought about the fact that he wasn’t able to do things like this freely if he was going to stay “trapped in the closet” forever. So without hesitation, Inoo lunged forward and pressed a forceful kiss to Takaki’s lips. Takaki was a little startled by the roughness at first, but it didn’t take him long to kiss back just as fiercely. 

Inoo ran his fingers through Takaki’s hair as they broke apart to catch their breath for a moment. Takaki rested his head against the side of Inoo’s neck and he could feel his warm breath brushing along his skin. When he moved again, Takaki wrapped his arms around Inoo and pulled him closer. With his hand on the back of Takaki’s head, Inoo gently pushed Takaki forward to kiss him again. But before Inoo could make it all the way there, Takaki tensed up and froze as his eyes darted towards the door.

“What—” Inoo began, but Takaki put his hand over Inoo’s mouth before he could finish his question. Suddenly there was a loud knock on their door. 

“Pretend you’re asleep,” Takaki in a whisper Inoo could barely hear. He used Inoo’s shoulder to swing himself off the bed. As he walked to the door, Inoo frantically pulled the covers back on the bed and jumped underneath them. He’d just gotten settled with his back to the door when Takaki opened it. Inoo listened despite the very loud sound of his heart pounding in his ears.

“Hey Takaki!” It was Yabu’s voice and it echoed loudly through the room. Inoo could tell that he was very drunk.

“Shh,” Takaki said keeping up the ruse. Inoo could just imagine him pressing a finger to his lips as he shushed him. “Inoo’s sleeping.” 

“We can’t remember which room is ours,” Hikaru’s voice added, just as loudly. His words came out jumbled as though he couldn’t remember how much space he was supposed to leave between each syllable. 

“It’s on your room key,” Takaki said. 

“Room key?” Yabu said and then remembered he was supposed to be quiet. “Room key? I’ve got that,” he repeated in an exaggerated whisper that he probably thought was quieter than it actually was. Inoo could hear a rustling noise that was probably Yabu patting down his pockets to look for it. 

“How about I take you to your room and make sure you both aren’t dying?” Takaki suggested. Inoo thought he was doing a pretty good job of hiding his annoyance at being interrupted. But then again, Yabu and Hikaru were so drunk they probably wouldn’t even notice.

“’m not dyin’,” Hikaru slurred out and then laughed at the idea. 

“Let’s go,” Takaki said. “Inoo is sleeping.” 

“Night Kei,” Yabu whispered loudly as the door shut. Inoo would have almost laughed if he hadn’t been pretending to sleep. 

As soon as he was alone in the room, Inoo sat back up. He could hear the voices fading away down the hall. While he waited for Takaki to return, he decided to go about his nightly routine of putting on pajamas and washing his face. After he dried his face off with the towel, he looked into the mirror. He wondered how his face looked to others. He wondered if it was attractive. He knew there were fans who liked him, but he didn’t know them personally. And they didn’t know him. Inoo ran his fingers across the now-clean skin of his cheek and jaw, and wondered if Takaki thought his face was attractive. 

The hotel door opened and shut, distracting him from his musings. Maybe he’d think about that more later.

Takaki sighed. “Well that was annoying.” Inoo stepped out of the bathroom and Takaki saw that he’d changed clothes. “Oh, are you actually going to sleep now?” 

Inoo shrugged. “I was just waiting for you to get back. How did you even know they were coming?” he asked, thinking about how Takaki had paused even before they’d knocked on the door. 

“You mean you _didn’t_ hear them practically shouting down the whole hallway?” 

Inoo shook his head. He’d been a bit too focused on Takaki to notice something like that. 

Takaki tossed his shirt off and changed into his own pajama pants as well. “Inoo, if you don’t want anyone to find out about your secret, you’ve got to learn how to listen. Otherwise, someone will walk in on you.” 

Inoo had to admit that made sense. He wanted to ask Takaki if he’d learned that from experience but he figured now was not the time to bring things like that up again. 

“It’s getting late,” Takaki said, glancing at the clock on the nightstand. Inoo didn’t really want to go to sleep but a yawn interrupted his thoughts and signaled to himself that he probably should go to bed anyway. Concert days were always long days. Takaki pulled back the covers on the other bed and Inoo crawled into the one he’d been pretend-sleeping in earlier. 

“Goodnight Takaki,” Inoo said after he’d turned out the light. 

“Night Inoo,” Takaki said. And then added, “I think your kissing has improved.” 

Inoo tossed a pillow at Takaki and was satisfied with the _oof_ that came from the other bed as his throw hit its mark. “Shup up, idiot.” 

\---

“Come on, Keito, what’s the cheat code?” Inoo whined. He tapped his hands on the table as though he could convince Keito if he was just annoying enough to wear him down. Takaki watched the two of them from across the room as they played a cellphone game that they’d been obsessed with for a month. The whole group was waiting for the okay from the staff so they could go home. It had been a long day of magazine photoshoots and interviews.

“I’m not going to ruin the game for you,” Keito complained while leaning away from Inoo who’d resorted to trying to see what was on his screen. Takaki tried not to laugh at their antics since he didn’t want anyone to think he looked creepy by watching Inoo.

“I’ll never beat this level,” Inoo continued to whine. “Just give me a hint at least.” 

“No!” 

“Help me out here, Chinen,” Inoo switched tactics and turned to the closest person for backup.

Chinen shrugged. “Sorry, I beat that level three weeks ago.”

“I hate you,” Inoo said in his most melodramatic voice. “I hate you all.” He threw a hand melodramatically over his eyes and Takaki couldn’t help but snicker quietly into his hand. Thankfully, no one was paying attention to him though. 

Yamada wandered over to the group and stuck his head over Inoo’s shoulder. “Did you try using the hidden jewel from level three?”

“What hidden jewel?!”

“Don’t tell him,” Keito insisted, waving his arms at Yamada in distress. “Let him figure out the game for himself.”

“What hidden jewel??” Inoo repeated.

But before all the video game secrets could be revealed, a staff member finally came in and told the group they could leave. All the photos had turned out okay and they wouldn’t need any reshoots. 

“I’m starving,” Yuto announced, stretching his long limbs as he stood up. “It is time for dinner.” 

“That reminds me,” Daiki began and turned to Inoo, “ _you_ promised we’d check out that new restaurant soon.” 

“Oh yeahhhh,” Inoo said and scratched the back of his head. Takaki wondered if he’d forgotten on purpose. He knew Inoo had had plenty of free evenings lately to go somewhere with his best friend.

“We can’t go today though, sorry,” Inoo explained. “I’ve already got plans.” 

Daiki frowned and crossed his arms with a skeptical eyebrow raised. “Really?” 

“Yes really,” Inoo answered, looking slightly offended that Daiki thought he would be lying. Takaki was pretending not to listen by fiddling with his phone but Inoo ruined that by turning to him and asking “you ready to go?” making it plainly obvious that they had plans together.

“Yep,” Takaki answered simply. It was obvious that Daiki wasn’t happy and Takaki did not want to get caught in an argument. He’d promised to take Inoo to the bar again so it wasn’t like he could explain what they were going to do. He decided to just let Inoo handle his own problem.

“Okay whatever,” Daiki said in a huffy tone of resignation. Just about everyone else had left the room already. Takaki shuffled awkwardly towards the door, hoping that Inoo would get the hint that they needed to leave. 

Inoo clapped his hands together in a gesture asking for forgiveness and closed his eyes. “This weekend, I promise. We’ll go together.” 

“See you later,” Daiki said, not bothering to respond to Inoo as he brushed past Takaki on the way out. That wasn’t like him at all since Daiki was usually sunshine and smiles. 

Inoo frowned and continued to frown all the way to Takaki’s car. Even as he sat down in the passenger seat and buckled up, he frowned. “Let’s get really drunk tonight,” he announced as Takaki started the engine. 

“I can’t. I’m driving, remember?” Takaki wasn’t quite sure how to handle Inoo when he was like this. 

“We ought to take a train next time,” Inoo frowned so much that there were deep wrinkles across his forehead.

“Is there a reason you’re avoiding Daiki?”

“There has to be some train that goes out that far, right?”

“Is there a reason you’re avoiding my question?” 

“I’m not avoiding him,” Inoo said. He crossed his arms to emphasize the statement and wouldn’t look over at Takaki. 

Takaki shrugged best he could without taking his hands off the steering wheel. “You sort of give off that impression.” 

Inoo sighed and uncrossed his arms. He tapped his fingers on the door handle instead. “I just think I need some time and space to sort everything out. Daiki’s just perceptive enough to know when something’s bothering me, but not perceptive enough to actually figure it out.”

“Nobody is a mind reader.” 

“I just don’t want him to know, okay?”

Takaki wasn’t going to argue so he switched on the radio for a distraction. There was silence between them for a long time until a song they both liked started playing and before they knew it, they were singing along, louder and louder until their voices filled the entire car. By the time they reached the bar, they were both in a much better mood. 

The place was a little more crowded than usual because it was Trivia Thursday but it wasn’t unbearably so. Takaki easily spotted Riku who’d already noticed when they walked in and was waving cheerfully to them. They went over to his table and he invited them to sit down. There was another person already there sitting with him. 

“Shinji!” Takaki exclaimed, happy to see his other old friend. “Long time no see.” 

“Good to see you back at the bar again,” Shinji said with a friendly smile. 

Riku looked very happy that they were all together. “Inoo, let me introduce you to my partner, Shinji.” 

Takaki glanced over at Inoo every now and then as the conversation began and they all started chatting and catching up. He wanted to make sure Inoo was having fun, and it looked like he was. He and Shinji were bonding over a shared love of rice and useless facts about former Prime Ministers of Japan. When they finally ran out of drinks, Takaki and Riku volunteered to go get more, leaving Inoo and Shinji behind to continue playing the trivia game and talk. 

“I think we’ve found someone who likes trivia night almost as much as Shinji does,” Riku laughed as they leaned against the bar while they waited. 

“Yeah, Inoo loves stuff like that too. You wouldn’t guess it because we’re Johnnys but he’s got an architecture degree from Meiji.” 

“Wow,” Riku nodded. “You’re right. I wouldn’t have guessed, but that’s cool.” 

Takaki nodded with a smile of agreement. Inoo had worked hard for that degree. He remembered how much time and effort Inoo had put into his final thesis project even while they were swamped with daily stage performances. It was amazing really. 

“So have you told him that you like him yet?” Riku asked.

Takaki coughed at the sudden question and scowled at Riku. “I don’t like him,” he denied. 

“But you’re very attracted to him. I have a sixth sense about these things,” Riku said, tapping his temple with one finger for emphasis. “Just then, you had a fond look on your face while you were thinking of him.” 

“I can’t,” Takaki began. “We’re not…” He had no idea how to put what he wanted to say into words that would make sense to Riku. 

The bartender had finally given them their drinks and there were about to head back but Riku turned to face him squarely head on. He looked about as serious as Takaki had ever seen him. “You can live in denial all you want,” he said, “but you’re just making yourself the miserable one. And I don’t want to watch you do that to yourself again.” 

“I understand,” Takaki said with a nod, “and I appreciate your concern.” He knew Riku had a valid point but he had no intentions of letting Inoo know about any of his feelings. For now, he could live with their “friends with benefits” thing they had going on. No need to complicate or ruin things for anything less than certainty. 

As the night wore on and Takaki’s alcohol buzz wore off, the crowd in the bar got thinner. Inoo had managed to win their group a few drinks in the trivia game, and Riku and Shinji had introduced them to some of their other friends (one of them was a drag queen who, Takaki noted, Inoo was strangely giddy about meeting). All in all, Inoo looked like he was having a good time. And if Inoo was happy, Takaki was happy. 

Takaki was completely sober by the time they decided to leave but Inoo was still drunk enough to press a sloppy kiss to Takaki’s cheek when they got back into the car. 

“What was that for?” Takaki asked. He resisted the urge to place his hand on the warm spot where Inoo’s lips had just been. 

“Because I’m happy,” Inoo grinned.

Takaki hadn’t even taken the car out of park yet so he leaned over the middle console and kissed Inoo full on the lips. Inoo responded back with drunken eagerness. But as he felt Inoo’s hand roughly grab the collar of his shirt, he figured that maybe Inoo was a little too eager. He broke the kiss so he could focus on driving home. 

“What was that for?”

“Because you’re happy,” Takaki teased. 

From the corner of his eye, Takaki could see Inoo buckle his seatbelt and then focus looking out of the window at the cars they passed by on the highway. Finally, Inoo spoke.

“Riku and Shinji were so nice to me. Going there makes me feel like there’s a place that I belong. It’s like a weight off my shoulders. I don’t have to think carefully about everything I’m going to say and I don’t have to worry about people judging me for who I like. It’s just so damn wonderful.” 

“Yeah, it is,” Takaki agreed, even as he thought carefully over his own words.

“So how long have you known Riku?” Inoo asked. 

“Hm…” Takaki wondered, thinking back to a different time in his life and part that he’d never talked about with anyone in JUMP. “A few years, I suppose. But before I brought you to the bar, it had been a long time since I last saw him.”

“I see.” 

“He and Shinji have been together for ten years at least, I think. They’ve always been really nice to me too.” Takaki thought back to nights where Riku and Shinji had offered him the couch in their apartment and mornings after when they had cooked him breakfast and made sure he was okay. He didn’t mention any of that to Inoo though. 

“Are they…” Inoo began, but then hesitated. He looked towards Takaki and then back out at the highway. “Are they out together? I mean, do people know about their relationship? Do their families know?” 

Unconsciously, Takaki gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. He couldn’t see in the dark but he was sure his knuckles had turned white. “Yeah, they are. But you should ask Riku about it, not me.” Takaki paused and then added, “and perhaps it’s best to ask about that to Riku when Shinji isn’t around.”

“Oh.” Inoo apparently understood that it was a sensitive subject. 

Things got quiet in the car as they both got lost in their own thoughts. The radio was off too. Eventually Inoo, who had sobered up a bit, spoke again. But this time his voice was barely a whisper that Takaki had to strain to hear. 

“Takaki, do you ever wish that you were normal?” 

“There’s no such thing as normal,” Takaki answered. “There’s nothing wrong with us. And don’t you _ever_ let anyone tell you otherwise.”

\---

Inoo watched Takaki as he chatted with Keito and Yuto on the other side of the dance practice room. It was break time between sessions so the group was scattered around the room while they rested. The three of them were having some deep discussion about a band Yuto really liked, and they’d been trading Yuto’s ipod back and forth for the past fifteen minutes. Takaki looked happy and Inoo couldn’t help but note that that emotion suited him the best. His whole face lit up when he smiled. Inoo liked the way he laughed, wide-mouthed and carefree, as Keito said something silly. 

“Hey Inoo-chan,” Yamada called out, breaking Inoo’s concentration. He hoped he wasn’t staring too obviously at Takaki from where he was sitting on the floor against the mirror. 

“Hm?”

Yamada slid down beside him on the dance floor and held out a magazine. “Hikaru and I are having an argument. Can you settle it?” He pointed to the photo on the page. It was a fashion magazine so the picture was of a lady in a nice flowery sundress standing on a hill. Her hair was loose and flowing in the apparent breeze. “I think the messy hair look is really nice but Hikaru thinks it would be hotter if she had a ponytail. What do you think?” 

“Why are you asking me?” Inoo said, adding a laugh to make the question seem more like a joke. He didn’t really care how the girl had her hair and he didn’t understand why Yamada and Hikaru cared either. He would just have to make something up, like he sometimes did for all those magazine interview questions about love. He briefly thought about Takaki’s hair that was windswept from the time they’d gone hiking together. Just like his bright smile, that look had somehow suited him as well.

“Messy hair is better,” Inoo said. It was the answer Yamada wanted to hear anyway.

“Ha!” Yamada triumphantly waved his fist in the air and picked up his magazine. “See? Inoo agrees with me!” he called out to Hikaru. He gave a brief acknowledgement of thanks to Inoo and then ran off to gloat in person. 

Since he was alone again, Inoo turned his attention back to Takaki. His conversation with Yuto and Keito had ended and he was alone now too, just looking at something on his phone. His eyebrows were drawn together, deep in thought at whatever was on the screen. For a moment, he glanced up and their eyes met across the room. Takaki shot a friendly smile his way and then looked back down at his phone. 

With even that one brief look, Inoo was surprised to feel that his heart began to beat just a little bit faster. And he knew what that meant. He’d felt that feeling many times in college when he saw the guy he had a crush on. He just wasn’t expecting it with Takaki. This “friends with benefits” thing might be getting a little more complicated than they’d intended.

\---

The fifth stop on the concert tour, Tokyo Dome, was not going as well for Inoo as it usually did. They were halfway through the show and BEST was waiting backstage for 7 to finish their solo section. Inoo had had some trouble with his outfit changes between songs and there was one point where his microphone completely failed. He’d switched it out quickly but he was still frustrated about it. He was feeling rather anxious about how the rest of the show was going to go. While he still had some time left, he quietly exited the dressing room and slipped into the bathroom. He just needed a quiet moment, he guessed, even though the echoes of the speakers still reverberated through the walls down here. 

Not even a minute later, Takaki cautiously poked his head through the doorway. 

“You okay?”

Inoo was happy Takaki was concerned enough to come check on him, but he figured that was just something Takaki would do for anyone. 

“I just needed a minute,” Inoo explained while he fiddled with the sequins on the sleeve of his jacket. He casually leaned against the counter and tried to look relaxed by the row of sinks so that Takaki wouldn’t worry.

It didn’t fool him. “Don’t worry about the problems. You know that happens to all of us. I mean, Yamada lost his shoe on stage earlier.” He laughed.

The unexpected reminder made Inoo laugh too since it was actually a little funny to watch Yamada frantically rush across the stage to retrieve the lost item in between songs earlier.

“Just relax,” Takaki said. He reached out and fixed the rumpled collar on Inoo’s suit that he hadn’t even noticed. “There. All better.” 

Inoo was suddenly aware of how close Takaki was standing. He reached out and put his hands on Takaki’s shoulders, wondering if he should make a move or whether Takaki would. But just a moment later, Takaki couldn’t seem to resist pressing a kiss to Inoo’s lips. Inoo leaned against the bathroom sink as they continued to kiss, ignoring how the countertop dug into his back. A small part of his mind worried about someone walking in, but a larger part was enjoying the thrill of it.

“The song is almost over,” Takaki said in a soft voice when he pulled away. There was still a hint of worry for him in Takaki’s eyes. 

Inoo could hear coming from above the faint echoes of Yamada’s voice holding out a long note. “I’m okay,” Inoo reassured him. “I’m okay.” 

“After the show…?” Takaki questioned, not even needing to voice his invitation out loud. 

“Yeah,” Inoo nodded. He fiddled with his sleeve again even though it looked fine and didn’t need fixing.

They left the bathroom to get ready to go back on stage, and Inoo went forward feeling more confident and assured than before. But as much as he loved performing, he couldn’t wait for the end of the concert.

\---

After the concert was over and everyone went their separate ways for the night, Inoo climbed into Takaki’s car once again. Takaki thought that the passenger seat was beginning to feel like it was made just for Inoo. He smiled to himself at the idea. They had no destination in mind, so Takaki drove around aimlessly until he got to the beach. It was after midnight when they pulled into the sandy parking lot for the beach’s public access point and they were the only ones there. Instead of walking towards the waves like Takaki usually did at the beach, the two of them just sat together on the hood of his car. The ceaseless sounds of waves crashing against the shore were the only things they could hear.

“It was a rough start, but I think everything turned out okay,” Takaki said. He wanted to reach out and hold Inoo’s hand, but he thought it might seem inappropriate. He didn’t know what the boundaries were within their strange not-relationship. Riku had been absolutely right though; he was attracted to Inoo. Had been since before he even knew Inoo’s secret. And he didn’t know how much longer he could stand being so close and yet so far away.

“Yeah, things happen, but the next concert will be better,” Inoo said with a determined nod. The streetlight in the corner of the empty parking lot lit up the pale skin of Inoo’s face. “I’m glad we’re getting a short break in between shows though,” he added.

Takaki shifted slightly so that he would be a little farther away from Inoo’s hand. “Definitely,” he agreed. “You have any plans for the break?” 

“Nah, just gonna catch up on sleep. You?” 

Takaki thought briefly about the things he would _like_ to do during their brief break: go visit some new places, see his nephews, watch some new TV shows. But he knew he probably wouldn’t get to do any of that stuff since having a break from the concerts didn’t necessarily equal having a break from other work. But he wished he had the time. There was a part of himself, one that was getting harder to ignore, that wanted to bring Inoo along on all of his adventures. They were starting to know each other really well as they spent more time together. It was small, unexpected things that he liked about Inoo. Like how, if there was one particular song on the radio, Inoo would always try to sing it enka-style but he’d always end up laughing hysterically at himself halfway through. Or whenever he’d see someone walking their pet poodle, he’d stop and take a picture of it to send to his sister because of some inside joke they had together. Or even like how Inoo would simply tap the side of his beer bottle twice before taking his first drink of it at the bar.

But Takaki didn’t know how to say any of this to Inoo. So he finally just answered the question with a nonchalant shrug. “Not really got any plans either.”

Inoo sighed and looked up at the dark sky. It was a cloudy night so the stars weren’t visible. “What time is it anyway?” he asked with a barely contained yawn.

“Almost 3am.”

“No wonder I’m so tired,” Inoo giggled.

“You want me to take you home?”

Inoo shook his head. “Not really. Getting home this late means a lecture from my parents, for sure. I ought to move out,” he laughed.

Takaki slid off of the hood and stood up. “You can stay at my place tonight if you want.” His parents wouldn’t mind. He used to bring home friends late at night during high school all the time. His mother, strangely enough, was usually excited about getting to cook breakfast for another person in the morning.

Inoo agreed and soon they were on their way. When they made it to the Takaki house, they tried to be as quiet as possible so they wouldn’t wake anyone up. It wasn’t the first time Takaki had snuck into his own house with a friend in tow, so he knew what to do. But with Inoo along this time, it seemed much more exciting. In his excited haste, however, Takaki ran into a chair in the kitchen, and all he could hear was Inoo’s muffled laughter through the dark. He grabbed Inoo by the wrist and led him the rest of the way to his bedroom. And maybe it was because he was too tired to think straight, but when they finally made it to his room he impulsively cupped his hands around Inoo’s face and kissed him. 

“Wow,” Inoo teasingly whispered after the kiss, “and here I was, thinking we were just going to sleep.” 

“Sorry, I just got carried away.” 

Inoo gently kissed him back. “Don’t apologize.” 

“Can I tell you a secret?” Takaki murmured but didn’t wait for an answer. “I find you intriguing.” 

“Do you?” Inoo looked amused in his dimly-lit bedroom.

“Very fascinating,” Takaki continued. He leaned forward as if he was going to kiss Inoo again but only hovered a few centimeters away. There was a rational part of his mind telling him that his current attraction at the moment was probably based on adrenaline and sleep deprivation, but the rest of his mind just didn’t care. He just wanted what made him happy. 

“You’re quite interesting yourself,” Inoo flirted right back. Neither one made a move to complete the kiss. 

And, at that moment, Takaki wished desperately that he could just tell Inoo everything about how he felt. 

\---

“Daiki wants me to room with him when we’re in Kyoto,” Inoo explained to Takaki as they sat together on the couch in the break room before going back to dance practice. They had about ten more minutes before they were due back again. But Inoo was grateful for the more peaceful atmosphere here instead of the one in the dance room. When he’d left, Yabu and Hikaru had engaged in a weird opera-singing contest and it was not going so well. 

“Well if that’s what you want to do…” Takaki answered.

“It’s not,” Inoo shook his head. “I wanted to room with you again.” 

Takaki frowned while he screwed the cap back onto his water bottle. “As much as I enjoy sharing a room with you too, I think you should probably stop avoiding Daiki. He’s your best friend, right? How do you think he feels being ignored like this?” 

Inoo sighed and picked at the frayed edge of the couch cushion. He was pretty sure the break room couch was older than he was. “I know. But he doesn’t know about us—”

“Just be yourself,” Takaki interrupted with a stern face that Inoo rarely saw him show anyone. “Just forget about it and have fun together like you guys usually do.” 

Inoo opened his mouth to argue but Chinen happened to walk into the room at that moment. “Yuyan~ I was looking for you,” he said cheerfully. “Oh, hi Inoo-chan!” He waved to them both. 

“Yeah? What’s up?” Takaki asked.

“I wanted to ask if you’d room with me for the next concert,” Chinen explained. He had settled down on the arm rest of the couch and it sagged a little from the extra weight. “I need a break from Yuto’s snoring. Please?” He put his hands together and closed his eyes to emphasize his request.

Takaki glanced at Inoo before answering yes. Inoo tried not to frown while Chinen was still in the room. It was almost impossible to be mad when Chinen was around. 

“Thanks!” Chinen hopped down from the couch and headed towards the door. “Gotta run. Break’s gonna be over soon. See you both later.” And with that, he disappeared through the doorway, leaving them alone again.

“I guess that solves that problem,” Takaki laughed, but then faltered when Inoo showed his best not-amused face. “What? Have _you_ ever had to share a room with Yuto? His snoring is pretty terrible.” 

Inoo stood up. “I guess I’ll go find Daiki and tell him the good news.” 

“That’s the spirit,” Takaki said, still completely oblivious.

“You’re an idiot,” Inoo added as he left the room.

\---

Chinen carefully peeled his shoes off and placed them by the doorway as soon as he stepped into the hotel room, reminding Takaki of the fact that they hadn’t shared a room together since their trip to France. He remembered that Chinen was a good roommate, not messy with his belongings or loud when he wanted to sleep. If he couldn’t share a room with Inoo on the tour, then Chinen was a great substitute. 

They talked for a long time about the concert and their families and upcoming plans, leaving a pleasant atmosphere settled over the room. But right as Takaki was about to go to sleep early for the night, Chinen said something that made him pause.

“I heard you and Inoo talking the other day.” 

Takaki, who was already halfway under the covers of his bed, turned to look at Chinen. His younger bandmate had his nose buried in a magazine, making his comment seem like a casual offhand remark. But Takaki knew Chinen better than that. “Oh yeah?” Takaki pretended to be nonchalant.

“I’m curious,” Chinen continued. He flipped a page in the magazine but Takaki was almost certain that he wasn’t reading it. “I’m curious why you and Inoo have been spending a lot of time together lately. Did you finally find something in common?” 

Takaki just nodded. It wasn’t like he was obligated to give out the details of his every day conversations with Inoo. And he was a little worried that Chinen might have overheard something that he shouldn’t have. Takaki had promised to keep Inoo’s secret and also protect his own, so there wasn’t much he could discuss with Chinen, no matter how trustworthy his bandmate was.

“Listen,” Chinen peeked at him from over the top of the magazine. “I think we could all tell that Inoo has been upset about something for months, but I know I wasn’t able to figure it out. But whatever it was, you’ve done something to help him. I can tell that he’s much more… I don’t know, worry-free lately. I’m glad about that.” 

“Yeah, I’ve been trying to help him,” Takaki admitted. He scratched the side of his head and wondered how much he could say. 

“But here’s something else I’ve noticed recently,” Chinen said as he tossed the magazine down, leaving the pretext behind completely. He shifted so that he was sitting in a more comfortable position. “Whatever you did to make Inoo happy has made you the depressed one now.” 

Takaki looked away. Was he really so obvious that even Chinen could tell that he was suffering from hiding his feelings?

“Chii, have you ever wanted to say something but couldn’t figure out how?” 

Chinen narrowed his eyes in a skeptical look. “Since when have you been one to stop and think about what to say?” He gave Takaki a lighthearted laugh. “Just blurt it all out like you usually do. Won’t you feel better afterwards if you do?” 

Chinen had a point. Takaki wasn’t usually so careful about his words. Sure, he kept important personal issues to himself, but usually he didn’t hesitate to express his feelings about other things. Thinking about his dilemma, Takaki rolled onto his back and spread his arms out wide. 

“If only life was so easy,” he said with a sigh. 

Without warning, Chinen took the opportunity to throw a pillow at Takaki and it connected squarely in his face. “What did you tell me when we were in France?” Chinen reminded him. “What was it? ‘Go for it and screw the consequences?’” 

“I was talking about eating that sketchy-looking food we bought.” Takaki lobbed the pillow back at Chinen but he expertly avoided the flying object.

“You know what I mean,” Chinen shrugged with an air of smugness, knowing that he’d made his point. “Pretty sure that advice applies to most any situation.” 

Takaki went to sleep that night with lots of words rattling around the edges of his brain. Chinen’s words. Riku’s words. And even Inoo’s words too. He could still hear Inoo’s whispered voice from his bedroom, calling him interesting in a tone which made that sound like a good thing. It was finally time for him to make a decision. For better or worse. 

Because he couldn’t keep drawing this out much longer.

\---

Being in the passenger seat of Takaki’s car was becoming almost a habit for Inoo. Here he was again, riding along a familiar highway and wondering what Takaki had planned. He hadn’t said much more than “do you wanna go hang out?” earlier, but it was enough for Inoo to agree. Instead of asking questions, Inoo just appreciated the unknown adventure and waited patiently even though he was secretly just dying to ask. Finally, he recognized the park they had gone hiking together in before their first trip to the bar.

“So we’re climbing a mountain today, huh?” Inoo asked with a grin. The mountain was more like a tall hill, but he wasn’t going to stress over the details. 

“We’re climbing a mountain,” Takaki confirmed with his usual happy laugh.

Since the concert in Kyoto when he had shared a hotel room with Daiki and Takaki had roomed with Chinen, Takaki had acted more distant with him than usual. He wasn’t sure whether he’d done anything to make Takaki upset or if maybe he was just having a rough time lately, but thankfully either way, he seemed to be in a good mood today. He’d been singing Christmas carols in the car earlier, not seeming to mind that it was the middle of summer. 

“Did you and Daiki patch things up?” Takaki asked as they began to climb up the trail, winding their way up past tree branches and tree roots to get dirt all over their shoes. The path was wide enough to walk side by side and they each adjusted their pace so that they could walk together. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Inoo answered. “We had fun actually. It was nice to catch up on everything I’d missed out while I was avoiding him. You were right. I shouldn’t have done that to him.” 

“That’s great,” Takaki smiled, and Inoo was glad that he’d listened to Takaki’s advice. “Were you able to tell him that you’re gay too?” 

The smile slipped off of Inoo’s face right as he slipped over a rock in the path. He paused a moment to regain his balance. “I couldn’t,” he admitted. “Not yet.” 

Takaki nodded but didn’t say anything. 

It only took a few more minutes before they reached the overlook point at the top. No one else was around, which apparently wasn’t that unusual Takaki told him. Inoo wiped a few tiny beads of sweat off of his forehead and admired the spectacular view again while Takaki picked out a nice rock to sit on. 

“Come sit with me,” Takaki asked and gestured for Inoo to fill the empty spot beside him. He made a show of dusting off the rock for Inoo even though he knew the dirt didn’t really bother Inoo that much. 

Again, Inoo looked out at the amazingly wide view of the land as he settled down. “So, what, are we just admiring nature today?” he joked.

“I like to come here and think sometimes,” Takaki said. His voice had changed to a more distant tone, like he was thinking about something else, and his eyes were focused on the horizon.

“It is a nice place,” Inoo agreed. He noticed Takaki’s unsure look, like he was having an internal war with himself over whether he should speak up or not. The slight frown on his face was putting a wrinkle into his cheek. 

“I have been thinking a lot lately,” Takaki spoke after a long silence. “I can’t keep doing this.”

Inoo looked at Takaki’s serious expression and felt a pit of anxiety well up in his stomach. He didn’t know what _this_ was referring to but he had a pretty good guess. He tried to ignore the sudden nervous pounding of his heart and listen to Takaki’s words.

“I know we were sort of half joking about the friends-with-benefits thing but it has to stop. I can’t keep doing it anymore.” 

Inoo had no idea what to say in response to that. He hadn’t been expecting Takaki to bring him all the way out here to the middle of nowhere to tell him that he didn’t want to spend time together anymore. It didn’t make any sense. But if that’s what Takaki wanted, he supposed he would have to respect his wish even thought that wasn’t what Inoo wanted at all. 

“But let me explain,” Takaki said. His frown had deepened when Inoo hadn’t said anything. He reached out and placed his hand gently on Inoo’s wrist. “I have been trying to ignore my feelings for a while now, but the truth is that I really like you. I mean that I want more than just a makeout session whenever we’re alone. You make me very happy and I want to share that happiness with you all the time. I want a real relationship. But I don’t know if that’s what you want, and I know it’s complicated because we work together. And truthfully, I’m just scared because things ended really badly the last time I even attempted a relationship with someone. So I’m sorry because I can’t keep on going with the way things are now.” 

Having blurted all that out with barely enough time to breathe, Takaki finally took a moment to even out his breathing. He couldn’t look at Inoo so he stared down at his fingers, still resting on Inoo’s arm. 

The conversation had taken such an unexpected turn that Inoo almost felt like laughing. It had sounded like a breakup instead of a love confession with the way Takaki had started off. Inoo could tell how flustered he was, but it was just exactly like him to speak his feelings all at once without thinking about how it sounded. 

Silently, Inoo moved his arm to grasp Takaki’s hand and then he leaned over so that his forehead was resting on Takaki’s shoulder. He laughed softly before confessing himself. “To be honest, I have been trying to think of a way to tell you the same thing for a few weeks now.” 

With that, the tension was broken and Takaki laughed. He patted the back of Inoo’s head with his free hand. “So is that a _yes I’ll date you_ answer?” 

“Yes,” Inoo laughed. He straightened back up and pressed a soft kiss to Takaki’s cheek. “Even though your confession was the complete opposite of romantic.” 

“I promise to make it up to you in the future.” Takaki grinned.

“Can we take this slow?” Inoo asked, returning to seriousness for a moment. “You’re the first boyfriend I’ve ever been able to have. This is going to take some getting used to for me. I had basically given up on the idea that I would ever be able to date anyone.” 

“Of course.”

“But I still want to room with you for the rest of the concert tour,” Inoo added with a flirty smile. “Because that’s the easiest way for me to get to kiss you.” 

Takaki smirked. “You mean you don’t enjoy making out in the backseat of my car?” He had leaned forward so gradually that Inoo hadn’t even noticed until he realized Takaki was hovering just centimeters away from his face. Inoo closed the gap between them with a slow kiss. He didn’t realize it was possible but kissing Takaki seemed even more enjoyable now that they were officially dating. 

“Kissing anywhere is fine, really,” Inoo teased when they pulled away again. 

“Let’s take a photo to remember this,” Takaki suggested. He searched his pockets for his phone. Once he pulled it out, he was about to take the picture when Inoo stopped him. 

“Wait, let’s get a better view.” He turned around on the rock so that his back was facing the open scenery instead of the woods they’d just hiked through. Takaki did the same and then held up the phone again. Inoo wrapped his arm around Takaki and drew himself close so that the sides of their faces were touching. He grinned as widely as possible but didn’t think his face could adequately express the amount of happiness he was feeling at the moment. 

The wide open view behind them stretched out to the horizon, spreading out the new wondrous possibilities as far as they could see.


	2. Part Two: The Fun

Inoo smiled when he saw that he had a text message from Takaki. He was bored out of his mind and needed the distraction. It was a day of magazine interviews and Inoo had been unlucky enough to be stuck at the end of the lineup for the individual interviews. Takaki, on the other hand, had been lucky enough to snag the first interview of the day, so he’d already left about an hour before.

_The duck flies at midnight_ , the text read.

Inoo snorted and then covered his mouth. Even Takaki had his ridiculous moments sometimes. 

_What does that even mean??_

_It’s code of course. The rooster crows at noon._

Inoo chuckled to himself a bit quieter this time. _Your code doesn’t even make sense. Ducks sleep at night. Roosters crow at dawn._

_That’s what makes it a code!!_

_Are we spies now? What is the code for anyway?_ Inoo typed out quickly. He was curious to see what sort of answer Takaki would come up with. Usually it was Inoo making up the weird things and making other people figure it out, but he appreciated role reversal every now and then.

It took a little bit longer than the last text but Takaki’s next one came saying _yes we’re secret agents! Meet me tonight for the details of your next mission._ He added a dorky-looking winking emoji at the end.

Inoo just looked at the message and shook his head with amusement. They were going on their first “official” date in a few hours but they still had to be secretive about it. At least Takaki was trying to make it fun.

_I’ll be there!_ He responded back, but then decided to add a joke to Takaki’s dumb bird code. _And the owl swims in the evening._

_Now don’t be ridiculous. Owls don't swim._

Inoo couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that bit. He could just imagine Takaki’s deadly serious expression while saying that if he were here.

“What are you laughing at?” Yabu asked. He was stretched out on the break room couch also still waiting for his magazine interview turn. 

“Nothing much,” Inoo said and doubled his effort not to laugh too loudly. He thought Yabu might have been trying to take a nap. 

_Yabu wants to know who I’m talking to because I keep laughing_ , he texted again with a smiley face.

_Tell him it’s the king of France._

Inoo covered his face with his hands because it was actually quite difficult not to laugh out loud. Dammit, Takaki. _Is that your spy codename??_ he typed as fast his fingers could manage just because he couldn’t wait for the next response.

_If I told you then I’d have to kill you._

_So that’s a yes then._

_Maybeeee_

Inoo was about to text him again but Keito walked through the door, having just finished up his own interview. “You’re up in a few minutes Inoo-chan,” he said. “And whatever you do, don’t mention anything about buttons.”

“O-okay… thanks?” Inoo said while Keito began gathering up his things. He wasn’t even going to bother to ask what that was supposed to mean. _I’m about to go to my interview now. See you tonight, your majesty._ He added a silly-looking emoji for good measure.

Takaki’s next text was just a simple kissing face emoji. Inoo rolled his eyes. _Is the king also a teenage girl now?_ Just a few seconds later Takaki just sent a grinning emoji plus another kissing face. 

Inoo gave in and sent the same emoji before putting his phone away with a smile. He stood up and stretched. “Hey Keito, are you ever going to give me the cheat code for that game?” 

Keito laughed. “You still haven’t figured it out?”

“Come on now,” Inoo begged, “take pity on me.” 

“Take pity on me,” Yabu interrupted from across the room. He put a pillow over the top of his head. “I’m trying to sleep.” 

“Sorry,” they both whispered in unison. 

The staff was motioning for Inoo to go to the interview room, so he couldn’t say anything else. He just waved goodbye and Keito waved back. Inoo reminded himself that he just had to get through his interview and then he would be on his way to meeting up with Takaki for their date. Excited butterflies were beginning to pop up in his stomach. 

\---

Takaki’s first thought when he saw Inoo waiting for him by his front door was that he looked really nice. It was kind of weird actually because Inoo was probably the least fashion conscious among them and he had never cared much about dressing up. He wasn’t in anything fancy or dressy; it was just his casual clothes, but they suited him well. Perfect for their simple dinner and movie date.

Inoo gave him a shining smile as he got into the car. He leaned forward like he wanted to do more than just smile at Takaki but they were both well aware that they were still in front of the Inoo household. They’d just have to wait until later when they were in a safer spot. 

The restaurant they’d picked out was out on the other side of Tokyo, far away from anywhere their friends and family lived. Things would be easier that way, he hoped. Inoo seemed like he was a little bit on edge during the car ride since he’d clung for dear life to the door handle every time Takaki took a turn, even if he was going really slow. The nerves were probably a combination of worry about getting caught along with the thrill of their first date together. Takaki had to admit that he felt a little restless because of the pent up nervous energy he’d been trying to ignore ever since they’d agreed on the date. But once they got to the restaurant, he breathed a relieved sigh. It looked like a place that was secluded enough where they could relax inside. 

They were halfway through dinner and still having tons of fun. “Are you serious?” Inoo laughed in response to Takaki’s story about something strange that had happened to him recently. 

“I swear that’s exactly what happened,” Takaki answered with a grin and took another bite of his food. Inoo just shook his head in silent amusement. In the early days of working together, Takaki and Inoo didn’t talk much. It wasn’t that they didn’t get along; it was just that they never took the time to see if they had anything in common. In those days though, Takaki was distant from everyone. He kept everyone at arm’s length, just watching from the edges. But over the years, the group had grown closer and Takaki had learned to open up more. Now the members of JUMP were some of his closest friends. But as time passed, he always thought of Inoo a bit differently.

“There’s this thing I’ve been wondering for a while,” Inoo began when the conversation had stalled. Inoo had already finished up his food but he still absentmindedly fiddled with his chopsticks.

“What’s that?” 

Inoo hesitated for just a moment, but then he spoke in a quiet voice. “On the night we got drunk and I told you my secret… why did you want to kiss me?” 

Takaki hoped his face didn’t begin to blush. He had hoped Inoo wouldn’t ask him about that. The truth is that, as Takaki grew closer to the group and learned more about each of them, he’d developed a secret crush on Inoo. He never had any intentions of acting on the feelings but they had been so drunk that night, he wasn’t thinking straight. He just couldn’t stand to see Inoo so upset about himself when there wasn’t anything wrong with him. Takaki just felt some unexplainable need to make sure Inoo was happy. He didn’t quite understand it himself. 

“I kissed you because I liked you,” he answered honestly. “I thought maybe I wouldn’t get the opportunity again.”

Inoo’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he tilted his head slightly. “Are you saying… you liked me even before you knew I… liked guys?” 

It felt almost childish to admit to a crush so Takaki didn’t make eye contact as he nodded. But Inoo surprised him by laughing. 

“Damn, I wish I had known sooner.” 

That made Takaki laugh too, dispelling the brief moment of embarrassment he’d just felt. “Better late than never I suppose.” He shifted position and he caught a glimpse of his watch poking up from under his sleeve. “Shoot. Speaking of late, the movie we were going to see has already started.” 

“Aw, that’s too bad,” Inoo said, but he didn’t look all that upset about it. As long as they were together, it didn’t really matter what they did. 

“Sorry. Not much of a first date, is it?” 

“No, no, it’s been great.” And Takaki could tell that Inoo was sincere saying that. 

Even though the movie plans were busted, they decided that they shouldn’t hang around in the restaurant much longer. Once they were back in the car, Inoo slipped his hand into Takaki’s and entwined their fingers. Takaki liked the warm feeling.

“Do you want to do something else since we missed the movie?” he asked. He could easily drive somewhere else but he didn’t quite want to let go of Inoo’s hand just yet.

“Let’s take a walk and explore,” Inoo suggested.

Even though Takaki couldn’t continue holding Inoo’s hand, it was still nice just walking together side by side down the sidewalk, teasing each other about silly things and looking at all the shops and restaurants they passed. Since the sidewalks were crowded with people out for the evening, Inoo came up with a people-watching game he called “host or wannabe.” One of them would pick out a person hanging out in the crowd and try to guess if he a host looking for work or just someone who thought that particular style of clothing looked cool. 

“That guy over there,” Inoo said, tilting his head in the right direction so he wouldn’t look so conspicuous, “that guy totally thinks he’s in a Visual Kei band.” 

Takaki craned his neck to get a better view, but Inoo elbowed him for looking too obvious. He winced and answered “how do you know he isn’t _actually_ in a VK band?” 

“Not enough makeup.”

Takaki snorted and covered his mouth. He cast his eyes over the crowd to pick the next subject. “What about that guy over there on his fourth cigarette?” 

“Wannabe obviously,” Inoo answered right away. “A host shouldn’t smoke on the job.” 

“Maybe he’s just nervous because it’s his first day.” 

Inoo was about to say something else in return but he was distracted by someone walking by. The person left a terrible stench behind in his wake. He turned to Takaki with his nose scrunched up in disgust. Takaki nodded wordlessly and they moved in the opposite direction to find another spot to watch people. When they settled somewhere else, they just laughed about it together. 

Eventually they decided that it was getting late so they walked back to the car with their cheeks hurting from smiling and laughing so much. Takaki didn’t want the night to end but he knew it couldn’t last forever. 

“Damn,” Inoo leaned close once they were back inside the car. “I wish I could kiss you now.” 

Takaki agreed but he knew that they were still out in public where anyone could walk by his car and see them. “Just remember that we have a concert this weekend and a hotel room to ourselves,” he reminded Inoo. 

“Ah, yes we do,” Inoo looked pleased.

Quick as a flash, Takaki pressed the briefest of kisses to Inoo’s cheek, barely even touching the skin, before he pulled away as if nothing had happened. That was as adventurous as he could risk it out here. As Takaki navigated the streets back to Inoo’s house, he felt Inoo’s hand reach out and grasp his own. 

And again, Takaki relished that warm feeling.

\---

“Yes, Mother,” Inoo said, rolling his eyes. He switched his cell phone from one ear to the other as he tried to unzip his suitcase with one hand. He turned and gave Takaki a look to signal that he hoped he’d be off the phone soon. Takaki just smirked. “Yes, I remembered to pack my shoes and my toothbrush.” He waited for the response on the other end. “Oh my gosh, Mother, I am not five years old. I know that!” 

Inoo continued to listen to his well-meaning mother’s voice as she gave her usual _be safe on the tour_ lecture he got every time the group travelled for concerts. He appreciated her concern for him, and nodded along with her words even though she couldn’t see him. But it had been a long day of rehearsals on the stage in Sapporo, and Inoo had other things on his mind for the night instead of a lecture. He watched Takaki across the room browse through the local informational packets left on the table. 

“Yes, yes, I love you too, Mother,” Inoo said. “Good night.” 

Inoo put his phone away with a sigh and threw himself face down onto the closest bed.

“Parental problems?” Takaki asked.

“No, I’m just tired of hearing the same lecture from my mom all the time.”

“That’s just how she shows that she cares, yeah?” Takaki folded up the papers he was looking through and stacked them together. 

“Yeah that’s true. Are your parents really strict with you?” 

Takaki shook his head. “I have two sisters who were terrors,” he explained. “By the time my parents got to me and my brother, they just didn’t care. So basically we can do whatever.” He laughed. “My sisters used to be a pain but they’ve settled down a bit now that they’re both married.” 

Inoo laughed too. “That explains so much about you,” he teased. He thought about the subject again, and then felt his lips pull down in a small frown. “My parents are strict sometimes. I understand it but it can be annoying too.” 

Takaki climbed up on the bed beside Inoo and put his arm around his shoulders. “That’s the way all parents are, aren’t they? Let’s look on the bright side. At least they aren’t so strict that they wouldn’t let you join Johnnys. Because otherwise, we never would have met.” 

Inoo leaned over and pressed a light kiss to the closest part of Takaki in reach, the side of his forehead. “I like the way you think.” 

Takaki moved slowly forward for a proper kiss but a knock at the door made them pause. Inoo groaned in frustration and buried his face into the bed again. Takaki opened the door to reveal Yuto and Hikaru standing there.

“We seem to have misplaced Yabu,” Yuto explained, “Have you seen him?” 

“You _misplaced_ him?!” Inoo exclaimed, shooting up from the bed at their weird announcement. “You make him sound like a doll.” 

Hikaru looked slightly guilty, his shifty eyes looked everywhere but at them. “We may or may not have involved him in an impromptu game of hide and seek.” 

“He’s been winning for an hour now,” Yuto added.

Takaki shook his head in a mixture of amusement and concern. “We haven’t seen him. Did you check the hotel pool yet?” 

“Or the bar?” 

“Ooh, the bar!” Hikaru grinned and shared an excited look with Yuto. “Let’s check the bar. Thanks guys!” 

Takaki waved at their retreating backs as they dashed off down the hallway and then shut the door. “The bar?” he laughed. “Now they’ll never find Yabu.”

Inoo wasn’t too concerned and shrugged. “I’d bet money that he’s actually at the bar.” 

Takaki imitated the motion. “I guess it’s not important as long as they all show up in time for the concert tomorrow.” 

“You’re right. It’s not important now,” Inoo agreed. He walked up behind Takaki and wrapped his arms around him. “Right now,” he whispered in Takaki’s ear, “it’s just me and my boyfriend.” 

“Lucky guy, that boyfriend of yours,” Takaki said as Inoo kissed his shoulder. He turned so that he could kiss Inoo back but another knock at the door interrupted them. They both frowned as Takaki opened the door once more. 

“Can I use your bathroom?” Yamada asked while bouncing back and forth between his feet. He had an uncomfortable-looking frown on his face.

Takaki narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Why?”

“Because Yabu has been hiding in my bathroom for an hour and won’t leave. Something about some game or whatever. I don’t care. All I know is that I have to pee really bad.”

Takaki burst out laughing and gestured for Yamada to come inside. Inoo put his hand to his forehead because _of course_ he should have guessed Yabu was taking a game of hide and seek entirely too seriously. As Yamada disappeared to the bathroom, Takaki turned and rolled his eyes at Inoo. 

When Yamada returned, looking much better than he had before, Inoo explained to him what he knew. “If you want to get rid of Yabu, Hikaru and Yuto are at the hotel bar… ‘looking’ for him.” He used air quotes to emphasize the looking part. 

Yamada looked confused but he knew better than to ask for an explanation. Strange things like this happened too often that he was used to it all by now. “Thanks for the heads up.” 

When they were finally alone again, Inoo sighed. “Maybe that’ll be the last interruption?”

“I hope so.” Takaki leaned forward for the third time that night, trying to kiss Inoo.

But then there was another knock on their door.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Takaki cursed quietly. He was so close to Inoo that his breath tickled the side of Inoo’s cheek. Even though Inoo was annoyed at another interruption, he thought Takaki’s reaction was amusing. 

“Inoooooo,” a voice whined, and Inoo turned to see a grumpy-looking Daiki standing in the doorway. 

“Yes, Dai-chan?” Inoo blinked innocently and wondered what he could have done to make him mad. 

Daiki walked in, completely ignoring Takaki, and crossed his arms to make the most intimidating pose he could offer. Which admittedly, wasn’t very intimidating because of the height difference. “You stole my ipod and I want it back.” 

“Oh!” Inoo threw a hand up against his forehead. “I completely forgot. Let me get it.” He searched around his suitcase until he found the music player he’d borrowed earlier.

“Thank you,” Daiki said with a smile, showing that he hadn’t been as upset as he’d pretended to be. He slipped the item into his pocket. “So what are you two doing anyway?” 

“Uh,” Inoo began. He wasn’t sure what sort of excuse he was going to make up so Daiki wouldn’t suspect anything. He didn’t want to just dismiss his best friend again but he didn’t want to hang out with him right now either. 

“Inoo said he was going to read a book, and I’m about to order room service before I go to sleep,” Takaki lied smoothly. He stood by the door, still holding it open since he had been ignored ever since Daiki walked in. 

“Oh,” Daiki looked like he had forgotten Takaki was even there. “Nevermind then.” 

Without warning, Chinen poked his head in the doorway, startling all three of them. “Dai-chan, I’ve been looking for you!” he exclaimed with his most devious expression.

“Huh?”

Chinen grabbed his arm and began to drag him out of the room. “You owe me food and I want it now.” 

“Do I?”

“Yes,” Chinen grinned. “Now be a good sempai and buy me food. See you later, guys!” He waved cheerfully to Takaki and Inoo before disappearing down the hallway with Daiki in tow. Takaki closed the door. 

“That was weird.”

Inoo nodded slowly in agreement, still a little stunned by Chinen’s whirlwind appearance. But he was grateful for the distraction. He didn’t want Daiki angry again for avoiding him so soon after they’d fixed their friendship. 

“Next time someone knocks on the door,” Takaki said as he climbed back on the bed and grasped Inoo’s shoulders, “we pretend we aren’t here, okay?” He didn’t even wait for an answer as he pressed a rough kiss to Inoo’s lips. Inoo could tell that he’d been waiting forever to do that, so he didn’t mind the roughness at all. In fact, Inoo pressed back harder and pushed Takaki down so that he was lying on his back. Takaki laughed but it wasn’t long before they were kissing again. Takaki’s hands ran along every inch of Inoo’s back, taking their time to explore the curve of his spine and the sharp angles of his shoulder blades. Inoo wanted to toss his shirt off so that he could feel Takaki’s hands against his skin, but that would require more coordination than he was currently capable of.

When Inoo paused a moment to breathe, Takaki caught him off guard and took the opportunity to push back so that Inoo was now the one lying on his back. Before he could protest losing his dominant position, Takaki began to kiss the soft part of his neck and throat. Inoo would never give Takaki the satisfaction of admitting to it, but he absolutely loved whenever Takaki did that. Just a few seconds later, Inoo couldn’t stop himself from humming softly with content.

Takaki paused ever so briefly. “Say something,” he commanded. 

“Say what?” Inoo asked, but couldn’t concentrate very well on what Takaki asked.

“Anything,” Takaki breathed. He seemed to enjoy the feeling of the vibrations coming from Inoo’s throat. 

“This feels nice.” Inoo ran his hand through Takaki’s hair, relishing in the fact that he was messing up the style that Takaki had worked on so meticulously earlier. After that, he swept his fingers from Takaki’s hair down to touch his arm. But his own arm swung too low and hit empty air instead of the bed like he expected. The sudden movement reminded him that he was dangerously close to falling off the edge of the bed. The feeling was similar to the one he got whenever he’d accidentally miss a stair, and startled, he pushed Takaki away and sat up. 

“You okay?” Takaki looked at him with eyes full of concern. 

“I just thought I was going to fall.” Inoo pointed to the floor. He watched the rise and fall of Takaki’s chest while he tried to catch his breath. His face looked flushed. 

“I would have caught you,” Takaki said. “But perhaps we should take a short break.” He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face and back towards the way he’d fixed it earlier. He looked like he was struggling a little to regain his composure. 

Inoo grinned and poked Takaki in the side. “I got you all hot and bothered.” 

“Hmph, no,” Takaki said but he avoided Inoo’s eyes.

Inoo grinned wider. “I did! I totally did.” He laughed. “Let me enjoy this for a moment. _You_ think I’m sexy.” 

“You’re going to ruin it if you keep talking,” Takaki teased. 

Inoo moved so that he was sitting beside Takaki. He laid his head on the shoulder that he liked so much. “For the record,” he said, “I think you’re really sexy too.” 

\---

“This is absolutely delicious, Mrs. Takaki,” Inoo said, and genuinely meant it as he took another bite of his dinner. Takaki’s mother beamed at the compliment.

“Have as much as you’d like,” Mr. Takaki insisted and slid one of the dishes towards Inoo to refill whenever he wanted. 

If he was being completely honest with himself, Inoo had been a bit nervous before coming over to the Takaki household. Takaki had invited him to spend the night, and while he had visited the family a few times before, he’d never stayed longer than a few hours. And, of course, all those times in the past, he hadn’t been dating Takaki either. But so far, things had been going well. Takaki was completely relaxed around his family which helped Inoo with the uncharacteristic anxiety that kept trying to sneak its way in.

“We got to see the concert in Tokyo Dome this time,” Mrs. Takaki said to Inoo. “We really enjoyed it. You boys do such a wonderful job.” 

Inoo smiled, but remembered that that was the concert where he’d had lots of troubles. But he supposed his own mistakes seemed much bigger to him than to everyone else watching. “Thanks!” he responded. “Takaki didn’t tell us that his family came to watch one of the shows.” 

“We try to go when we can,” Mrs. Takaki explained while Mr. Takaki just nodded in agreement. 

Takaki cleared his throat. “Mama, should we help with the dishes?” It looked like he didn’t really want to discuss his parents’ thoughts of JUMP’s performances, which Inoo understood because fanservice was an awkward thing to discuss with anyone’s parents. 

“No, I’ve got the dishes tonight. You two have fun.” Mrs. Takaki smiled and Inoo felt almost as if he was a kid in middle school again going over to his friend’s house to look at trading cards and play video games. It was a weird, sort of nostalgic feeling, but not a bad one at all. 

“Thank you very much.” Inoo thought he was doing a good job of giving a good impression. But he hoped he could keep it up the whole night so Mr. and Mrs. Takaki wouldn’t suspect this sleepover was anything other than friends hanging out together. He wanted his good impression to stay intact. 

Once they were done eating, Takaki led Inoo to his room. He told him to make himself at home and then he disappeared for a few moments. Inoo sat down on the floor by Takaki’s TV and looked through the assortment of movies and video games he’d collected. When Takaki returned, he was lugging a futon and a bundle of blankets which he immediately dumped on the floor by the closet. He came over and sat by Inoo. 

“You can share the bed with me if you want,” Takaki explained, “but Mama will get suspicious if I didn’t go grab the extra futon.” 

Inoo smiled with a hint of mischievousness. “Your poor parents don’t know how much of a devil you really are.”

Takaki grinned and picked up a few of the video games Inoo had pulled out to examine closer. “I’m telling you, nothing I do compares to some of the stuff my sisters did. I’m an angel in comparison.” He blinked innocently to try to prove his point. 

Inoo leaned forward and kissed the innocence right off his face.

Takaki let out a strong laugh when Inoo broke away. It was the kind of laugh that starts deep down in your gut and then bubbles up to the surface before you can stop it. It was a contagious sort of laugh and Inoo automatically joined in. He liked the pure look of joy spread across Takaki’s face. 

“So did you want to play a video game?” Takaki asked when the laughter settled down. A smile was still playing around the edges of his lips though. He pointed to the pile of games Inoo had put together. 

“I don’t think I’ve played Mario Kart since I was ten.” Inoo held up the game in question. The edges of the package were worn down a little from heavy use over the years. Inoo tried to imagine briefly a younger version of Takaki, the one he’d first met when they’d joined Johnnys, the one with not-yet-dyed black hair. He imagined that younger Takaki with a look of intense concentration while he tried to beat the video game. He smiled. “Can we play together? I don’t want to be selfish, but it used to be my favorite.” 

“Of course you can be selfish,” Takaki exclaimed, looking almost offended that Inoo would think otherwise. He plucked the game case from Inoo’s hand and put it into the video game console. He struggled with untangling the controller cords and added, “You’re more than just a guest here to me and you know it.” 

Inoo smiled gently, but then came to his senses a moment later and punched Takaki’s upper arm. 

“Ouch! What was that for?” 

“Don’t think you can make me go easy on you by being sappy,” Inoo warned him. He lifted his chin as he picked up a controller. “I used to be the champ at this game.” 

“I think _used to be_ is the keyword there,” Takaki gave him a smirk that almost rivaled Chinen’s. 

“Those are fighting words!” Inoo exclaimed. He pushed up the sleeves of his shirt with determination. “Let’s go.” He glared fiercely at the TV screen and Takaki did his best _challenge accepted_ face. The game had begun. 

Inoo was not against playing dirty and he took every opportunity to distract Takaki in whatever way he could, which included giving him a few more punches in the shoulder, talking nonsense, and trying to sit in Takaki’s lap to block his view of the TV screen. That last bit of strategy hadn’t worked out so well for Inoo because it gave Takaki a perfect opportunity to wrap his arm around Inoo’s waist. While still expertly pressing the buttons on his controller one-handedly, Takaki brushed his cold fingers along the hem of Inoo’s shirt, making contact with his warm skin. The unexpected touch made goosebumps pop up along his skin and he jumped, losing control of his character. It crashed into the wall, ultimately losing the race. 

“Yay!” Takaki cheered and automatically raised his fists into the air as he celebrated. 

“You got lucky,” Inoo complained with pretend-annoyance. 

“Are you going to get off my lap now?” Takaki asked, but he didn’t seem all that upset about their current positions. The obnoxious game music continued to play but they both ignored it. Takaki set his controller down and wrapped his arms around Inoo. 

“Nah, I’m comfy here,” Inoo answered as he leaned back into Takaki. He really didn’t want to move either. 

“Are we giving up on more Mario Kart then?” 

Inoo pursed his lips. “I guess I can let you off the hook and spare you the shame of losing to me today.” 

Takaki snorted in response to Inoo’s confidence. “I was _letting_ you win,” he claimed with a whisper in Inoo’s ear. That struck a nerve and Inoo elbowed Takaki in the stomach. “Ouch,” he winced. 

“Oops, my elbow slipped,” Inoo tried to sound as innocent as possible as he teased his boyfriend.

“Like hell it did.” Takaki, of course, was not convinced. He tried to sound angry but Inoo could just barely detect the amusement in his tone. But Inoo didn’t have much time to think about this because, without warning, Takaki pushed him off his lap. Despite being caught off guard, Inoo didn’t go without a fight, and after a few moments, they were having a full-on wrestling match like children. Again Inoo fought dirty and he quickly searched for Takaki’s ticklish spot. Once he found it, Takaki lost all focus as Inoo’s fingers brushed across his skin, and Inoo easily pushed Takaki onto his back and pinned him down. 

“Did you let me win this time?” Inoo asked, full of smugness. 

Takaki reached up with his arms and pulled Inoo closer. “What do you think?” he asked in a gruff voice. 

“I think I don’t care,” Inoo said before kissing Takaki again. He just couldn’t resist when he had the opportunity. 

They stayed like that for a while, kissing and touching, until Takaki tensed up and nudged Inoo to move. Feeling confused, Inoo sat up and watched as Takaki quickly brushed his hair back into place so it didn’t look like he was just lying on the floor a few seconds before. There was a knock on the bedroom door and Inoo quickly busied himself by sorting through the video games again. It felt sort of childish, like he was a young teenager, having to hide his relationship from his boyfriend’s parents. 

Mrs. Takaki poked her head through the doorway and smiled. “I just wanted you to know that there are snacks in the kitchen if you get hungry. We’re going to bed now so just be quiet if you head to the kitchen.” 

“Thanks Mama,” Takaki said and Inoo nodded with a smile too. Mrs. Takaki really was very nice, but he wondered if she would be as nice if she knew that he was gay and was dating her son. But he tried to push those thoughts to the back of his head, to worry about late at night whenever he stared up at the ceiling while he tried to sleep. 

After she left, Inoo let out the breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding. “Your ability to hear someone before they walk in on us is uncanny.” Inoo never could seem to concentrate on anything other than Takaki. 

Takaki shrugged. “I just know where the floorboards in the hallway squeak.” 

“Do you ever think about moving out?” Inoo asked. He thought about it occasionally. He was old enough, certainly, and he had enough money saved up to do it. But he still hadn’t made the effort yet. He didn’t know what, but something was holding him back. 

“Yeah, I’ve thought about it, but then I remembered that I’d have to cook my own food instead of eating my mother’s, so I decided against it.” Takaki laughed at his own answer and leaned back against his bed. He looked the most relaxed Inoo had seen him as in a long time. “What about you?” 

“Same,” Inoo said with a laugh that unexpectedly turned into a yawn.

“Did I tire you out?” Takaki teased. He poked Inoo’s arm to be obnoxious.

“You wish,” Inoo shot back. He wasn’t going to let Takaki have the satisfaction of being able to tease him about something. But the truth was that it had been a long day. 

“No more video games then,” Takaki declared. He moved to shove the video game console over to the corner in a heap of tangled cords. “I’ll put a movie on and we can just relax.” 

Once they were both lying beside each other in Takaki’s bed though, they ended up talking more than watching the movie. How could Inoo focus on a movie when he was only inches away from Takaki? Eventually, Takaki just grabbed the remote control and cut the TV off. The movie was only halfway through but they had no idea what was even happening on screen.

Inoo pulled the bed sheets up to his waist as he got more comfortable for sleep. He and Takaki were both lying on their sides facing each other. So close, but yet, somehow not close enough. 

“Does it bother you to lie?” Inoo asked quietly when their previous conversation ended. 

“Lie about what?” 

“About us. About yourself.” The topic had been on his mind for a while now. His secret was like a virus almost. Once he had told one person, it felt like he wanted to spread it, and it was getting harder and harder to ignore wanting to tell everyone. 

Takaki closed his eyes for just a moment. “It’s just what we have to do, right?”

He looked almost sad and Inoo closed his own eyes too just to avoid seeing that look. “I know,” he said. “But does it bother you?” 

Takaki shook his head as much as he could without lifting it up off the pillow. The motion swept some of his hair into his eyes. Inoo reached out and brushed it away without thinking. 

“I’m not ashamed of who I am,” Takaki finally answered. “I’ve never been ashamed. What I dislike is how other people react when they know. They don’t understand. They think it’s a joke or it’s disgusting. So I don’t mind lying to avoid all that. I’ve learned from my mistakes in the past.”

Inoo thought about Takaki’s words. He thought about how Takaki could lie so easily to their friends and his family, just to protect Inoo and himself. Those reactions of disgust had been what Inoo had been afraid of for years. He could understand what he was saying.

But he also thought about Takaki’s smile when they were hanging out at the bar with Riku and Shinji. He thought about his laughter when they went out on their first real date together. He thought about the picture they’d taken together at the top of the mountain when Takaki had confessed his true feelings to Inoo. That picture that had captured the pure joy they’d felt. 

He felt so confused he didn’t know what to think.

With the lull in the conversation, Takaki had drifted off to sleep. Inoo reached out and brushed his fingers gently against Takaki’s shoulder. 

“It bothers me,” he whispered out loud to the darkness. “The lying bothers me.” 

\---

Riku was already waiting for him at the little café when Inoo arrived. From the table by the window, he waved to Inoo as he took a sip of his coffee. Inoo waved back and then pointed to the counter to indicate he was going to order something first before sitting down. He had called up Riku a few days ago and asked to meet. Inoo wanted some advice from someone who’d been open about being gay for a while. 

With his coffee cup in his hand, Inoo crossed the room to meet Riku at the table. The café was decorated brightly which gave it a nice, homey feel to make Inoo feel more at ease. Riku had suggested this place, and Inoo spent the first few minutes asking him questions about the café until he finally worked up the courage to transition to the topic he really wanted to discuss. 

“So… can I ask you…” Inoo began with hesitation. He didn’t want to make Riku feel uncomfortable or obligated to talk about something he didn’t want to discuss. But Riku nodded to let him know it was okay. “I wanted to ask how it was for you when you came out.” 

“You mean how everyone reacted?” 

Inoo nodded. Riku didn’t seem upset about the question so he felt a little better. Inoo placed the balled-up napkin he’d had in his hand back onto the table, not even realizing he’d picked it up earlier in a fit of nervousness. 

“I’m not going to lie and say that it was easy,” Riku began. “My family didn’t understand, and not many of my friends did either. Everyone just thinks automatically about the stereotypes you see on TV and just don’t understand that not all people are like that. For a while, they all would treat me differently just because of my sexuality. It was frustrating because there is so much more to my life than just who I want to sleep with. But after I met Shinji and we started dating, I managed to come to a better understanding with my family. They like Shinji a lot actually. And I realized that the few friends I lost weren’t really my friends anyway. There were some hard times but doesn’t everyone have hardships in life? That’s just how it goes.” 

Riku’s answer gave Inoo a lot to think about. The reason Inoo had been keeping his secret from everyone for so long was because he was afraid of the reactions, afraid of being judged on only one aspect of himself. It wasn’t exactly what he had wanted to hear.

“It wasn’t as easy for Shinji though,” Riku added. “Not everyone’s reactions are the same. His parents weren’t as willing to understand as mine eventually were. And they still aren’t. He doesn’t speak to them anymore.” 

“That’s terrible,” Inoo frowned. 

“It’s sad to say but some people just don’t want to change their way of thinking. We live with it and we move on. What good does it do to dwell on it?” Riku’s words weren’t exactly encouraging but Inoo understood what he was trying to say.

Inoo fiddled with the lid of the coffee cup for a moment. A tiny splash of coffee ended up on his fingers and he quickly wiped it off with his crumpled napkin. “So… if I wanted to tell people… about myself…” Inoo trailed off.

“There’s no telling how they will react.” Riku pushed a clean napkin across the table to Inoo. “But I will say that there are more and more people these days who are more accepting. There are more people who are willing to listen and learn. They far outnumber the close-minded people. If you think it will make you feel better, then do it. Tell them.”

Inoo nodded. He wanted to live again without having to hide anything. He wanted to feel like he wasn’t different than everyone else. For so long, his secrets felt like they had him trapped behind a wall. But with Takaki’s help, he’d chipped away at the wall and now he wanted to bust it completely down. 

“If you want to come out, just know that you have people who will support you. You have me and Shinji and Takaki. And there may be others who surprise you too.” 

“Thank you so much.” The idea was still sort of terrifying but he felt better with the reassurance that he wouldn’t have to struggle alone. Knocking down a wall all by yourself was hard work.

“Is there something else you wanted to ask?” Riku continued with a friendly smile. “You look like there’s more.” 

“Oh. Well…” It was true Inoo had more but it was on a different subject. “It’s about Takaki.” 

“Is everything okay between you two?” 

Inoo was quick to clear up any worries Riku might have had. “Everything is great actually,” he answered. “But you know how Takaki is. He keeps things to himself, even things that he probably should talk about with other people. It’s not like I want to pry too much into his personal life but I want to let him know that I can help him if he needs it. Could you tell me about the guy Takaki used to come to the bar with?” 

“Ah,” Riku sighed and pushed his empty coffee cup to the edge of the table. “Him. Yes, I can see why he wouldn’t want to talk about that.” 

“I only want to understand better, but he won’t talk to me.” 

“I won’t tell you all the details because that’s something Takaki needs to tell you for himself,” Riku began. “But I will say that he did some terrible things to Takaki when they were together. That guy had trouble accepting who he was and what he was feeling, so he usually took that frustration out on Takaki.” 

Inoo already wanted to punch that guy in the face. Takaki didn’t deserve to be treated like that. By anyone. 

Riku seemed to understand what Inoo was feeling. “Shinji and I did our best to look after Takaki until finally, that guy broke off the relationship. But the damage had already been done. Takaki stopped visiting us at the bar and we didn’t see him again for three years until he brought you there that night. I hadn’t expected to ever see him again, but I’m glad he came back. You make him really happy, you know.” 

“I try,” Inoo said. He was quickly learning all the ways to make Takaki laugh and smile with all the time they spent together. “He makes me happy too.” 

“Life’s not always easy,” Riku said, “but it helps to have someone to support you when things get tough. You’re not alone.” 

Inoo felt a new feeling of confidence bubbling up inside him as he parted ways with Riku and left the café later. He stepped onto the sidewalk to rejoin the multitude of people walking past, not knowing what their destination was but travelling along with them just the same. And for the first time in a long time, Inoo didn’t feel like he was separate from them. He didn’t feel like he was carrying around a dark secret that cut him off from the rest of the world. He was just Inoo Kei, a singer, an actor, a Meiji graduate, just a regular person. 

His phone rang and he smiled when he saw Takaki’s name flash across the screen. 

He was not alone. 

\---

During the last few days before their last concert of the tour, something rare happened: JUMP had a free day. There were no magazine interviews or photoshoots, no sudden dance practice crammed in their schedule, no press conferences, no last-minute costume fittings. Nothing. Inoo was grateful for being able to have a breather before the craziness that always ensued right before the end of a tour. He and Takaki had chosen to spend their day off fishing. It was Takaki’s idea, of course. 

“It’s so relaxing,” Takaki had said. “Just being out by the water, enjoying nature. It’s very laid back. You’ll love it.” 

Inoo wasn’t convinced but he decided to give it a shot just to spend time with his boyfriend. Plus, spending time alone together in a peaceful setting would give him a chance to talk about some things as well. 

Takaki, with his constant travels around the countryside, already knew just the place to go. Inoo was surprised that he hadn’t driven them to the beach. It was a small pond, hidden away just outside of Tokyo, and it was for public fishing. But Takaki explained that except for the occasional old man, there usually wasn’t anyone else there.

And today, it was only the two of them. Takaki stretched his arms out wide and grinned, holding a tackle box in one hand and a fishing pole in the other. “Ahh, it looks like it’s going to be a good day.” 

Inoo thought the enthusiasm was cute. He picked up his own fishing pole and tried to untangle the lure without getting the hook stuck in his finger.

“I can help,” Takaki offered, gently taking it from his hands as soon as he’d set all his own stuff down by the edge of the pond. 

“Did you know that you’re actually an old man trapped in an idol’s body?” Inoo joked as he watched Takaki expertly fix the tangled fishing line and lure, reminding Inoo of the one time his grandfather had taken him fishing as a young child. 

“Well as long as you’re okay with that, then it’s okay,” Takaki said with a goofy grin. He handed the fishing pole back to Inoo and picked up his own. He settled down on a fallen long by the pond’s edge and cast his line out. 

“I suppose I can live with your faults if you can live with mine.” Inoo mimicked the action but his line didn’t land as far out in the water. 

Takaki scoffed. “What faults? You’re perfect.” 

“Damn right I am,” Inoo said smugly just to tease him and then laughed. “I swear, when you’re not an old man, you’re a smitten teenage girl. So confusing.” 

“ _You’re_ the confusing one,” Takaki said as he reeled his line in and cast it back out further. “Sometimes you’re really ridiculous and then sometimes you’re so serious. _And then_ there are other times when you’re really adorable, then really sexy and…”

Inoo snorted. “You do realize literally _everyone_ in the world is like that. There’s this thing we like to call _emotions_ …”

“…shut up.” 

“If it makes you feel any better,” Inoo added. “When I’m with you, I feel like I can be myself.” 

There was a brief silence where the only thing Inoo could hear was the water washing against the edge of the pond by their feet, and then Takaki quietly added “me too.” 

Inoo turned to look over at Takaki with a fond smile. He looked like he was deep in thought as he stared out at the water. But then suddenly his eyes widened and he quickly pointed to Inoo’s line. “Ah! You have a bite! Reel it in! Reel it in!”

Unprepared for this moment, Inoo jumped up in a panic, getting the tips of his shoes wet. “What do I do??” He hadn’t actually expected to catch any fish. 

Takaki reached out and grabbed Inoo’s arm, guiding his actions so that he could reel the line in. Inoo frantically turned the reel faster and faster until the hook came out of the water with a wiggly fish attached to the end. 

“I did it!” Inoo exclaimed in disbelief. His heart was racing from the excitement. 

“You did it.” Takaki was proudly smiling and Inoo could see all of his teeth. 

“Now what do I do?” 

“We can throw it back?” Takaki suggested. Inoo took a picture with his phone to remember the event and then nodded. Takaki took the line, unhooked the fish, and let it swim away. When he looked back up, Inoo gave him a fierce glare.

“What?” 

“You said this was supposed to be relaxing but I think I just had a minor heart attack,” he answered. 

Takaki shrugged with unconcern and settled back down on the log. “You’ll get used to it,” he explained with a lazy smile, “and then you’ll want to go fishing all the time.” 

“Suuure,” Inoo said with a tone that showed how unconvinced he was.

For the next hour, they talked quietly while waiting for a tug on the fishing lines. But the fish had stopped biting and Takaki guessed that the two of them had made too much noise earlier and scared all the fish away. Once their stomachs began to growl, Takaki reeled in his line and suggested they break for lunch. They had each brought their own bento box for the trip.

“That looks good,” they both said in unison as they opened up the boxes containing their sandwiches. When they realized what had just happened, they both burst out laughing. 

“I’ll trade you half my sandwich for half of yours,” Inoo said. He waved half of his sandwich in the air, trying to make it look extra enticing. 

Takaki grinned and held out half of his own sandwich. 

“This is good,” Inoo said through a mouthful of sandwich. “Did your mom make this?” 

Takaki looked slightly offended. “No, I can make my own sandwiches at least,” he answered. “Glad you like it.” He took a bite of Inoo’s sandwich and immediately made a confused face as he slowly chewed it. “Is there… cream cheese on this?” 

“Yes,” Inoo tried not to laugh. 

“You’re a weirdo.” 

“I know,” Inoo gleefully agreed. “Trust me, another few bites and you’ll love the taste.” 

Takaki looked suspiciously at the sandwich and set it carefully back down in his bento. But after a few moments of Inoo watching some inner struggle play out on Takaki’s face, he finally picked the sandwich back up and took a huge bite out of it. 

“I win!” Inoo exclaimed.

“I’m hungry,” Takaki said, but Inoo was quite certain that was only an excuse. 

Inoo had already finished both of his sandwich halves, so he closed his bento up and put it away. “Hey… Yuya,” he began, letting the barely used syllables roll off his tongue. He had only recently started calling Takaki by his first name when they were alone, but it still felt a little weird to him after years of mainly using his last name. “I talked to Riku the other day.” 

“Oh?” Takaki paused with the sandwich halfway to his mouth. “What about?” 

“I just wanted to ask him some stuff about…” he trailed off, not sure how to explain that he was basically getting advice on coming out. “Stuff about… people like me.” 

Takaki looked confused. “People like you?” He blinked as he tried to figure out what that meant. “…Pianists?” 

“What?” Inoo couldn’t stop himself from laughing. Takaki wasn’t dumb but he sure could completely miss the obvious sometimes. “Gay people!” he explained. 

Takaki blinked again. “Oh. Well I hope that was… helpful?” 

“It was.” 

“Good,” Takaki said and went back to eating his sandwich. 

“We talked about you too,” Inoo continued. 

“Hmm?” Takaki gave up on the last few bites of his sandwich and put the whole thing away. “What about me? Did he tell you I puked in the bathroom at the bar once? Because that _did not happen_.” 

“Ew,” Inoo grimaced. “No, he didn’t say that. But now I’m going to have to ask him about it next time.” 

“It didn’t happen,” Takaki insisted. 

Inoo stretched his arms in an attempt to get more comfortable. “I believe you.” He took a deep breath. “I asked him about the guy you used to go to the bar with.”

Instantly, Takaki’s whole demeanor shifted and his mood darkened. He wouldn’t look Inoo in the eye. “What did he tell you?” 

“Just that I should ask you about it. So here I am, asking you about it.” Inoo waited for Takaki to speak but he remained silent, so Inoo continued. “Listen, I only asked because I was worried about you. You keep everything to yourself, but you don’t have to. I know that you keep secrets because you don’t want to get hurt like before.” 

“What do you want to hear?” Takaki said harshly. “You want the truth? The truth that I let that guy treat me like shit because I thought I might have loved him? You want to hear that I was a fucking idiot? Because that’s the truth.” 

“Do you feel better now?” Inoo asked quietly.

Takaki took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Maybe a bit,” he admitted, regaining more of a sense of calm than just a moment again. “You really want to hear the story?” 

“Only if it’ll help you stop being so hard on yourself.” 

“I’m not going to tell you his name,” Takaki insisted before he began, and Inoo just nodded. “But we met when I was hanging out with some of my friends. We’d both had too much to drink that night but he spent the whole time flirting with me. And I liked him a lot since we had a lot of fun together. After that night, we started to hang out more often, but we were never really dating. He insisted that I was not his boyfriend. I suppose that should have been the first sign of trouble.”

Takaki closed his eyes as if he was trying to gather his thoughts together, make them more cohesive. Inoo just silently waited. 

“The problem was that he couldn’t admit to himself that he liked guys. He _hated_ himself. But it was so damn confusing because he would kiss me at the bar, lead me on, and then tell me that the way we felt was wrong. Riku and Shinji were always supportive, telling me that it was perfectly okay for me to be attracted to both genders, but _that guy_ was always by my side saying the opposite.”

Inoo nodded as he listened. Because Takaki had always seemed so sure of his orientation, Inoo had never really considered the fact that there had been a point where Takaki questioned how he felt and struggled through the same things that Inoo had. 

“The worst thing was that he wouldn’t let me kiss or touch him unless we were drunk,” Takaki continued. “So I let him buy me drinks and he would always leave me at the bar when he didn’t want to deal with me anymore. I was so stupid because I let him do that to me several times. I made so many shitty decisions during that time. But Riku and Shinji took care of me when I was at my worst. When I finally realized the terrible situation that I’d put myself in, _he_ finally decided that he didn’t want to see me anymore. So I haven’t seen him since then. Thankfully.” 

Once Takaki’s story was finished, Inoo grabbed his hand to silently show his support. “I’m sorry that you had to experience all that. And I’m sorry that guy was such a shithead.” 

Takaki chuckled a little at Inoo’s word choice. “Thanks.” 

“You told me once…” Inoo began, thinking back to one of their car rides together when he’d asked Takaki about wishing to be normal, “you told me that there was nothing wrong with the way were are. There’s no such thing as normal. Try to remember that applies to you too, okay?”

“Okay.” 

“Thanks for telling me everything,” Inoo said. “Do you feel better now?”

Takaki nodded and opened his bento back up to finish the last bits of the sandwich halves. “I do feel better. You’re right. Sometimes, it does feel good to just open up about things.

Inoo put on a smug face. “I’m always right. Even about the cream cheese sandwich,” he teased. 

Takaki rolled his eyes as he took another bite of the sandwich in question. While he waited for Takaki to finish lunch, Inoo grabbed his fishing pole again. Somehow the line had gotten tangled up once more and Inoo struggled to undo the knots.

“You have to have patience, Kei,” Takaki said with amusement creeping into his voice.

“Screw this,” Inoo said, shaking the fishing pole in frustration. “Next time, we are going to an onsen to relax. Fishing is entirely too stressful.” 

Takaki laughed out loud. “One day, you’ll be an old man like me and you’ll understand.” 

“I’m going to be forever young and beautiful!” Inoo answered. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon just like that, teasing each other while working on the finer techniques of fishing and relaxing. And maybe, just maybe, they felt a little bit closer than before. 

\---

This was it. The last concert on the tour was over. The encores had been sung, the thanks had been given, the final bows had been made. There was that weird mixed feeling of sadness and relief and accomplishment that always followed the group after a successful tour.

But currently the group’s feelings could be most accurately described by one word: drunk.

“Party time!” Yabu shouted as he stood on the table, throwing his hands up in the air. His fingertips brushed against the ceiling and his shirt raised up so that everyone could see half of his stomach. 

“Get down,” Hikaru said, yanking Yabu sideways. “You’ll break the table.” 

Yabu toppled over onto the floor beside Chinen and giggled. The whole group was gathered into a private room that they’d rented to celebrate together. This was always their post-tour ritual: splurge on a nice dinner and then, as more of them reached the legal drinking age, get as drunk as possible. The amount of alcohol was probably excessive, but they only toured once a year, so that’s how they justified it. 

Inoo was currently more than halfway to plastered and busy fighting the urge to stick his hands down Takaki’s pants. The sober part of his brain (it was a really tiny part, trying to yell loudly through the alcohol haze) kept reminding him that they were not drunk at the gay bar or drunk in the hotel room, and therefore he couldn’t make out with his boyfriend. Which really sucked because making out with his boyfriend was what he usually did when he was drunk. (The sober part of his brain said a snarky “told you alcohol was bad” and then promptly shut up.)

To distract himself from Takaki (who was occupied in some sort of juggling competition with Hikaru and making a fool of himself), Inoo turned his attention to Daiki. 

“What’s new, bro?” he asked as Daiki shoved another drink in his hand. Inoo hadn’t meant to but he’d drifted away from Daiki again even after they had patched things up earlier during the tour.

“Everything is awesome!” Daiki shouted. Inoo blinked and leaned away slightly because he didn’t know what Daiki was shouting so loudly. He was sitting right beside him for goodness sakes. “Did I tell you, did I tell you, I’m taking DJ lessons? Isn’t that cool?” 

“You, my friend, are awesome,” Inoo agreed, patting Daiki’s shoulder. “But you told me that a year ago.” 

“We need to hang out more,” Daiki continued, “We haven’t had dinner together in FOREVER.” 

Inoo nodded because that was true and he had missed hanging out with his best friend. “Sorry I’ve been spending all my time with Yuya.” 

“Yuya?” Daiki tilted his head in confusion because he’d never heard Inoo call Takaki by his first name before.

(“You’re an idiot,” the sober part of Inoo’s brain whispered smugly.)

“I mean Takaki,” Inoo said, trying and failing to smoothly cover up his error. But Daiki was too drunk to harp on the subject.

“Next Friday,” Daiki said, his voice still entirely too loud. “Next Friday we should get dinner together. At the usual place!”

“Yes!” Inoo enthusiastically agreed. “But why are you shouting?”

“I’m not shouting?” Daiki said in a voice that could clearly be considered shouting.

The rest of their conversation was interrupted by everyone else gathering around a passed out Yuto to take photos of his face. Yamada and Keito had tied ribbons in his hair as he snored peacefully on the floor. 

“Wake up!” Yabu said, patting Yuto’s cheek not as gently as he should have. “You’re missing the party!”

The silliness continued on for a while until the restaurant kicked them out because it was closing time. They were supposed to head back to Tokyo in the morning so they all went back to the hotel. There was talk of continuing the party in someone’s room but Yuto had passed out again so that put a damper on those plans. Eventually, Takaki and Inoo left the discussion and disappeared back to the room they were sharing. (The sober part of Inoo’s brain had given up and gone to bed ages ago.)

As soon as the door shut, Inoo pounced. He’d been waiting all night to spend some quality time with his boyfriend. Inoo pressed Takaki against the nearest wall and kissed him. He felt Takaki’s fingers dig into his hips as he pulled them closer together. Blindly, Inoo reached for the buttons on Takaki’s shirt and tried to undo them. All the alcohol in his system was messing with his coordination and he couldn’t get his fingers to move right. While Inoo was distracted, Takaki took the opportunity to lean forward and press sloppy kisses on Inoo’s neck. Inoo tossed his head back and moaned, enjoying the feeling, but then he leaned backwards too far and toppled down onto the floor. Takaki laughed as he reached out to pull Inoo back up. 

Once Inoo was face to face with Takaki’s buttoned shirt again, he immediately went back to trying to open it. It wasn’t working, so Takaki finally just pulled his shirt off, followed by Inoo tossing his own off too. Inoo didn’t think much about what he was doing, just moving on instinct as they continued to kiss. He could feel the warmth of Takaki’s bare skin against his own. He slid a hand down the side of Takaki’s stomach and fiddled with the edge of his pants. 

“What happened to taking this slow?” Takaki asked in a husky voice full of amusement. 

“Fuck that,” Inoo said, waving a dismissive hand. “Fuck me.” 

Takaki laughed as he ran his hands slowly down Inoo’s arms. “I can’t. I’m too drunk. I mean, I would love to but I literally think I can’t.” 

Inoo glanced downwards and sighed, realizing the problem. “Yeah, me too I think.” 

They should have quit drinking long before they actually did.

“Shit. So frustrating,” Inoo complained and then tried to stick his hands down Takaki’s pants anyway. 

“We should wait,” Takaki said as he grabbed Inoo’s wandering hands by the wrists. “We should wait until we can remember this properly. How much are you going to remember tomorrow?” 

Inoo tried hard to think about the question, but he came up blank. “I don’t even remember how we got back to the hotel. How _did_ we get back?” 

“Hm… a taxi?” Takaki giggled. “I don’t really remember either.” 

“Are you really that drunk?” For some reason, Inoo thought that was hilarious. This was a rarity for Takaki.

“Hey, you try playing a drinking game with Hikaru and not get wasted.” 

“That’s good advice. Too bad I won’t remember that tomorrow either,” Inoo snarked. “But I do think I remember someone puking on Keito’s shoes. Didn’t that happen?” 

Takaki drew Inoo close to him, wrapping him tight in his arms and Inoo snuggled against one of Takaki’s collarbones. Inoo felt Takaki’s fingers brush through his hair. “Don’t ruin the moment by talking about vomit,” Takaki whispered. 

“You’re just saying that because you can’t remember either,” Inoo whispered back. He leaned in for another kiss but his coordination was still off and he missed Takaki’s lips. Oh well, he thought, his jaw is just as good. He could hear Takaki giggling again as he tangled his fingers further into Inoo’s messed up hair. Even though he couldn’t see him from his current angle, Inoo could imagine the laughter on Takaki’s face, happy emotions softening his features. 

But in a flash, Inoo’s elated feelings were replaced by a strong wave of nausea as the alcohol in his system started to rebel against his body. He jerked away from Takaki, worried that he wouldn’t be able to keep it together long enough to make it to the toilet. 

“Speaking of vomit…” he muttered. He turned and stumbled towards the bathroom. Wordlessly, Takaki grabbed his wrist to steady his wobbly frame and lead him in the right direction. If Inoo hadn’t been so drunk and nauseated, he probably would have been more embarrassed about the situation. But Takaki never said a word of complaint. Instead, he just rubbed Inoo’s back silently while Inoo emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. 

When he was done, Takaki immediately placed a glass of water in his hands. Inoo didn’t know how he’d managed that so fast, but he was grateful nonetheless. 

“Feeling better now?” Takaki asked.

Inoo nodded but the action left him a little disoriented. “Sorry,” he answered. His voice sounded scratchy now. 

“Let’s go to sleep,” Takaki said. He reached out to guide Inoo again. “You’ll feel better in the morning.” 

Inoo let Takaki pull him gently into bed and under the covers. In his hazy still-drunken state, he didn’t quite understand why Takaki wouldn’t let him lay on his back, but he couldn’t complain because it did feel nice to have Takaki’s body pressed up against his back with an arm slung protectively across his chest. It wasn’t long before Inoo passed out. 

They were in completely different positions when Inoo woke up in the morning. Sometime during the night, Inoo had rolled over to his other side and Takaki had sprawled out like a starfish over half the bed as he lay on his back. Inoo wanted to laugh out loud when he got a good look at Takaki’s openmouthed sleeping face. It was probably the most unattractive face he’d ever seen the other make, but strangely, he loved it. 

Inoo reached out and placed his hand on Takaki’s bare shoulder, absentmindedly tracing random patterns into his tanned skin. Inoo couldn’t remember everything from the night before but he did remember the care Takaki showed as he looked after him. Inoo thought about what Takaki had told him before about _that guy_ and how Takaki always had way too much to drink at the bar. He wondered if Takaki understood how to help because he’d been in Inoo’s position many times before. But his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Takaki stirring. 

“Oh, morning Kei,” Takaki said, sounding groggy. He squeezed his eyes shut and frowned, clearly not fully awake yet. “Do you have a massive hangover too?” 

Inoo shook his head. “I think I might still be slightly drunk,” he admitted with a laugh.

“Well you did have way too much to drink,” Takaki said and then rolled onto his side so that he could snuggle close to Inoo. It didn’t seem like he wanted to wake up. 

“Ugh, for once I agree.” Inoo patted the top of Takaki’s head, trying to fix the wayward strands of messy hair. 

“Are you hungry?” 

“I really want a big bucket of fried chicken,” Inoo answered honestly. “Is that bad?” 

Takaki opened one eye and gave him a confused but amused look. “How about just a cup of coffee instead?” 

“I can live with that.” He smiled as he watched Takaki slowly pull himself out of bed and fiddle with the coffeemaker. Inoo was happy, he realized. He was happy to have Takaki in his life. Maybe now was finally the time to tell Takaki what he was planning to do. 

He took a deep breath. “Hey Yuya…” 

“Hm?” Takaki hummed. He had turned the coffeemaker on and was staring at it like a child with his chin resting on the table. He tore his eyes away to look over at Inoo and winced as the movement worsened his headache. 

“I think I finally want to tell JUMP.” 

“Tell them what?” Takaki blinked a few times. 

“I want to tell them I’m gay.” 

Takaki frowned which wasn’t exactly the reaction Inoo was expecting. 

“All of them?” he asked. 

“Yes. Weren’t you the one who said I should tell Daiki?” Annoyance was starting to creep in. Why did he have to explain this? 

“Yeah but only because your best friend deserves to know and he can keep a secret,” Takaki explained. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell everyone.” 

“It’s not like this is a sudden decision,” Inoo snapped at him. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I’m tired of pretending. I just want to be myself. All the time and not just when I’m with you.” 

“But—”

“Just because _that shithead_ told you repeatedly that people like us shouldn’t come out, doesn’t mean that it’s _true_ ,” Inoo said, suddenly feeling the angriest he’d felt in a long time. Inoo stood up. “If it makes you feel any better,” he continued, mustering up every ounce of snark he had, “I won’t tell the group about you and the fact that we’re dating. _You_ can keep living a lie. Have fun with that.”

Without another word, Inoo marched off to the bathroom to take a shower. He couldn’t continue the conversation because he knew he’d only say hurtful things. He didn’t want to fight with Takaki but he just couldn’t believe that the other boy wouldn’t support his decision. It hurt. It really did. But he wasn’t going to change his mind. 

When Inoo left the bathroom, he was greeted by an empty room. Takaki had already packed up his suitcase and disappeared down to the lobby where the group was supposed to meet before they all left to head home together. The empty hotel room felt lonely.

But he noticed before he left that there was a lone cup of coffee waiting on the table for him.

\---

Inoo hadn’t changed his mind even though he had all day and night to reconsider his decision. In the end, he still decided that it was for the best for everyone to know. But he was still surprised at how nervous he felt when he walked into their dance practice room. 

He wished Takaki was going to be by his side, supporting him when he told the group, but Takaki was still not speaking to him. Yesterday, JUMP had all piled into the van that would take them back home to Tokyo. Everyone was talking about what they remembered of their night of partying while also complaining of hangovers. Takaki had feigned sleep the whole ride back, so Inoo hadn’t had a chance to talk to him at all. 

One by one the rest of the members walked into the room, starting little conversations with each other. Takaki walked in, but he only gave Inoo a brief glance before picking a corner to stretch in before practice. Takaki’s face was a mask today so Inoo couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. 

Inoo had decided on this particular day and time to talk to the group because they were going to be alone. There were occasions when the choreographer left them alone to work with other groups. On those days, Hikaru and Chinen were in charge since Hikaru was the only one who could keep them on task and Chinen was the only one who always knew all the dance steps. 

Inoo cleared his throat before they were about to begin. 

“You getting a cold?” Yuto asked, full of concern.

Yuto’s misplaced concern made Inoo feel a little more at ease. He tried to ignore the pounding of his heart. After he told them, there was no going back to the way things were before. 

“No,” he answered. “I have something I want to say to the group.” 

It was a little unnerving to have all their eyes focused on him, all looking curious except for Takaki. He still showed no emotion. 

Inoo took a deep breath. “I want to tell you all something important,” he said. “It’s not really something to make a big deal about but I wanted to tell you because you’re my friends. I don’t want to keep secrets anymore. I want to be myself.” He closed his eyes for a moment to block out their confused faces. “I’m gay.” 

When he opened his eyes again, Takaki had walked up beside him. He quickly grabbed Inoo’s hand before anyone could say anything. Then Takaki spoke. 

“And we’re dating.”


	3. Part Three: The Fallout

“Is this a joke?” Hikaru asked. His eyebrows were raised like he just couldn’t process this new information. 

Most of the rest of the group mirrored Hikaru’s expression. Inoo looked over the sea of confused faces and gripped Takaki’s hand tighter. He was infinitely grateful that Takaki had changed his mind. Things would probably get more difficult from here, but at least he didn’t have to do it alone.

“It’s not a joke,” Inoo shook his head. “I’m serious. I just wanted to be truthful with you all. Takaki and I have been together for a few months.” Inoo figured he could count their ‘friends with benefits’ phase too. 

The group still looked like they didn’t know how to react to this new information. Only Chinen and Yuto looked supportive and excited for them.

“I knew it!” Chinen exclaimed. “I’m so happy for you both.” Chinen immediately bounced up to both of them and wrapped them in a hug. Takaki gave him a small smile and patted Chinen on the head like a little kid. 

“How’d you know?” Inoo asked.

Chinen smirked. “I just have good instincts.” 

Yuto had been watching the whole conversation with a glad look on his face, but then he frowned when he looked over and saw how everyone else looked. “What’s the problem?” he asked. 

“It’s just…” Yamada began, seemingly unable to find the right words. “It’s just… weird.”

“I don’t know what the big deal is,” Yuto said. “Inoo and Takaki are gay. So what? It’s not weird. Don’t any of you know any other gay people?” To Yuto it seemed, Inoo might as well have just announced that he wore shoes every day and liked to eat food. 

“We do… just… not in our group,” Yabu said quietly. 

“But Takaki’s had girlfriends before, right?” Keito said. He looked like he didn’t know whether to focus on Yuto or the couple in front of him. He was busy trying to avoid eye contact. 

“Actually I’m bisexual,” Takaki clarified. He looked a little upset. “You could try to ask us questions instead of discussing it like we aren’t standing here.” 

“Don’t get angry,” Inoo said to him quietly. He understood that Takaki’s past experiences led him to be overly defensive. “They just don’t understand yet.” He was disappointed with the reactions too but he knew that getting angry wouldn’t help anything. 

Yabu finally cleared his throat. “Um… maybe we should just start practice?” He looked uncomfortable. In the corner of the room, Daiki hadn’t spoken at all. 

Inoo wanted to say more, but he knew that dance practice wasn’t the best time to get into a deep discussion on the subject. This was still work after all. 

It was a weird feeling, Inoo decided, as they all danced together. He was partly relieved to finally get his secret out, and he was also happy that Takaki had been by his side, but there was also the disappointment from the group’s reaction. Throughout practice, he could tell that the uncomfortable ones were avoiding him. Little by little, they were pulling away, putting more space between him and themselves. But Chinen and Yuto’s reactions had been good, so he was grateful for that in the meantime. 

Instead of hanging around to chat after practice like they usually did, most of them disappeared quickly. There were excuses of more work to do and errands to run. But Chinen hung around as one of the last ones to leave. 

“Don’t worry,” he told Inoo and Takaki. “They’ll come around eventually.” 

“I hope so,” Inoo said. He wasn’t as confident. He glanced towards the doorway where Daiki had left in a hurry without a word. He hadn’t even _looked_ at Inoo. 

“Happiness is like a virus,” Chinen continued. “So be happy together, and it’ll spread.” He smiled brightly, poked Inoo in the cheek, gave Takaki a smirk, and then disappeared out the doorway. 

“So what are you going to do now?” Takaki asked Inoo.

Inoo took a deep breath before answering. “I need to tell my family.” It wasn’t going to be easy but if Inoo was going to tell everyone, he meant _everyone_. 

“Do you want me to come with you?” 

Yes is what Inoo wanted to say, but he knew that was a discussion he needed to have on his own. “No, that’s okay. I’ll talk to you afterwards.” 

Maybe Takaki could tell how nervous he felt because Inoo soon felt the reassuring grasp of Takaki’s hand on his again. “I’m sorry,” he apologized softly. “I was wrong before. I was… I guess I was just scared. But I won’t abandon you again.” 

Inoo gripped the hand tighter and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Takaki’s lips. “Thank you.” 

“I’ll be waiting for you,” Takaki said and kissed him back. “No more secrets.”

\---

Inoo planted his feet firmly on the welcome mat to the Takaki home and tried to hold himself together as he rang the doorbell. He could feel his eyes burning as he tried to keep them from watering. He blinked twice and took a deep breath while he waited, wondering if he should just knock.

The door opened and he was so relieved that it was not Mr. or Mrs. Takaki standing there, but his boyfriend. The bright smile of Takaki’s face dissolved the instant he saw Inoo on his doorstep with a suitcase, looking distraught. 

“Yuya,” he said, and almost winced at how shaky his voice sounded. He wanted to sound stronger than this. He _was_ stronger than this. 

“Come inside,” Takaki said as he reached out and grabbed the suitcase Inoo had hastily packed. Inoo followed without an argument.

As soon as the door shut, Takaki wrapped him tightly in a hug like he was trying to keep him from falling to pieces. But it was too late for that, Inoo thought. His insides already felt like they had been shattered. 

“It didn’t go well with your family?” Takaki asked even though he could clearly see the answer on Inoo’s face. “Did they kick you out?” 

Inoo shook his head. He let Takaki lead him to the kitchen table and he sat down. But he couldn’t help remembering sitting at his own kitchen table not too long ago. His parents had been seated beside each other, and he had been on the other side. 

“I made the decision to leave on my own,” Inoo answered. “They… didn’t take the news very well. And I got angry and said I’d move out.” But the anger Inoo had felt at his parents had dissipated during the drive over and now he was just sad. Sad and disappointed at feeling rejected by his own family. 

His father’s words continued to echo in his head. _Surely this is just a phase. You must be confused. All you need to do is find a nice girl and settle down._ No, Inoo had said, he didn’t choose this. His mother’s words followed. _We didn’t raise you to be like this._ No, Inoo had said, it had nothing to do with their parenting skills. _We can’t accept this_ , they both said. 

“Kei,” Takaki said, and Inoo realized that the two of them had been sitting in silence as he got lost in his thoughts. 

His eyes and nose were still burning. He sniffed before speaking again. “It hurts worse than I expected. I knew it was a possibility and I should have guessed their reactions, but still…” 

“You can stay here as long as you need to,” Takaki said. He looked upset, like maybe he was about to march over to the Inoo house right now and yell at them himself. Inoo appreciated the support but it had been such an emotionally draining day that he just wanted to shut his brain off and forget everything. Nothing had gone the way he’d hoped. Not like Riku had told him it would go.

A door somewhere in the house opened and closed, startling Inoo. “Mama must be home,” Takaki said. “I’ll be right back.” Inoo watched him leave the room. The voices were still bouncing around in his head, like a record he couldn’t shut off.

_You must be confused. We didn’t raise you to be like this. We can’t accept this._

When Takaki returned about ten or fifteen minutes later, Mrs. Takaki also stepped into the kitchen behind him. “You can stay with us as long as you’d like, dear,” she announced without warning. 

Startled at the suddenness, Inoo just blinked a moment before responding. “Uh, thank you. I’m sorry to impose. I hope you don’t mind.” 

Mrs. Takaki just smiled. “Dinner will be around 7.” 

“Come on,” Takaki said to him, picking up the suitcase. 

“What did you tell her?” Inoo asked as he watched Takaki set the suitcase down in his bedroom. It all looked about the same as the last time he was here, just a little messier since he hadn’t expected to have sudden company. 

“I told her the truth,” Takaki answered, “that you needed someplace to stay for a while.” He rummaged around his room. “Did you pack everything? I can lend you some stuff if you need it.”

If Inoo hadn’t been so upset he might have laughed at the offer of borrowing Takaki’s clothes. He shook his head. At his house, he had been running on autopilot, but he’d managed to throw several outfits into his suitcase. It didn’t matter that they were all wrinkled up now and some of them didn’t match; he’d never cared much about stuff like that anyway. What did it matter? What did _any_ of it matter? 

_You must be confused. We didn’t raise you to be like this. We can’t accept this._

Inoo almost jumped out of his skin when Takaki placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see his boyfriend watching him with eyes full of concern. 

“It’s…” Takaki began hesitantly. He didn’t quite seem to know what to do. “It’s okay if you want to cry, you know.” 

“I’m okay,” Inoo said even though that was a lie. And he knew Takaki _knew_ that was a lie. But he also remembered what Riku had told him when they met at the café. Things would be tough, but he wouldn’t have to go through it alone. “Thank you.” He managed to say the words even though his throat felt like it was closing up from the pain of holding it all in. 

For the rest of the night, Inoo took things one at a time, finding it easier to focus that way. He managed to make it through dinner with the Takaki’s without much trouble. They were friendly enough to help take his mind off his own family for a brief while. Afterwards, he allowed himself a few minutes to let the tears fall while he was in the bath. And later, he tried to get comfortable sharing a bed with Takaki. It was usually nice being so close together, but this time Takaki had his arms wrapped around him once more like he was trying to hold him together. Inoo drifted off to sleep with his parents’ words echoing in his head again.

_You must be confused. We didn’t raise you to be like this. We can’t accept this._

He hoped maybe that he could make everyone understand one day. Understand that there was nothing wrong with him. Nothing abnormal or strange. Letting this secret go had been the most difficult thing he’d ever done. He couldn’t undo it. He couldn’t take it back. But despite everything, despite all the bad reactions he’d gotten so far, he felt just a bit lighter. He didn’t have to hold everything inside anymore. 

\---

Takaki would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried about Inoo. While he had guessed that their bandmates might have a hard time accepting their relationship and orientation, he hadn’t expected Inoo’s parents to react the way they did. Guilt gnawed at Takaki’s mind because he hadn’t suffered nearly as much. JUMP had mostly ignored him in the wake of the confession, which he could easily deal with, and his parents had been surprisingly supportive when he told them. In fact, his mother had even said she sort of expected it. 

The past few days had been strange. Inoo had settled into a routine at his house, but Takaki could tell that his boyfriend was still unhappy, no matter how hard he tried to put on a happy face and act like his usual carefree self. Takaki would be the first to admit that he wasn’t very good at comforting and cheering people up, but he knew friends who could help. 

So that’s how they ended up at the bar late on Wednesday night. 

Riku and Shinji were already drinking together at their usual table. It wasn’t as crowded, but the music was still pretty good. Takaki had told Riku they were coming, so there were already two beers waiting for them on the table. Takaki watched as Inoo brightened up as soon as they walked in. After pleasantries were out of the way and the drinks got low, Riku grabbed Takaki by the arm and dragged him to the bar for refills. 

“Let’s give them some time to talk,” Riku said before Takaki could walk back to the table. He looked back to see Inoo and Shinji deep in a serious conversation. “Shinji knows what he’s going through better than either of us.” 

“It shouldn’t have to be like this,” Takaki said as he took an empty seat at the bar instead. “Why can’t people just accept that we’re not all the same?”

“Why is the grass green?” Riku countered. “We don’t have to understand it. We just have to deal with it and move forward.”

Takaki frowned at his drink, suddenly not feeling in the mood for alcohol. He was thinking back to a time when he didn’t know any better and he drank _too much_. A time when the guy he liked encouraged him to down drink after drink until he was so drunk he could barely see straight. And Takaki did it all _willingly_ because drunk was the only way _that guy_ would let him touch him. Even if it was only in a tiny stall in the bar’s bathroom. Afterwards, when he would wake up hungover and sick at Riku and Shinji’s place, he would always feel disgusted with himself. Always feel like he had been _used_. All because _that guy_ couldn’t accept that he was attracted to men. One of the last things Riku had said to Takaki before he stopped coming to the bar was that it wasn’t his fault. “You got caught in the crossfire of someone else’s internal battle,” he had said. “Don’t blame yourself.” 

Takaki sighed and pushed his drink over to Riku. He glanced back at Inoo again to see him still talking with Shinji. Riku took Takaki’s abandoned drink and pushed it towards the bartender. 

“How did you and Shinji deal with all this crap?” Takaki asked. 

Riku shrugged before simply answering with “together.” 

“That’s not very helpful,” Takaki complained. 

“Just give it time,” Riku said. He finished off his own drink. “Let me ask you this: do you have any regrets?”

“Regrets?”

“About anything,” Riku clarified. “About dating Inoo, about coming out, about everything that’s happened.” 

Takaki considered the question. He definitely didn’t regret being with Inoo. They were happy together in a way that he’d never been with anyone else. And as much as he’d been opposed to the idea before, he didn’t think he regretted exposing their secret either. For once in his life, he finally felt like he could be himself and not the persona he showed their fans on stage. 

“No. No regrets,” he answered. And somehow he felt a bit lighter just by admitting that.

Riku smiled. “Then just give it time.”

The two of them chatted about their lives for a while until Shinji finally waved them back over to the table. Takaki could see in Inoo’s eyes that he was feeling better, more confident than before. There was a smile playing around his lips as his eyes met Takaki’s. He was grateful for whatever Shinji had said to him. To keep the good mood going, the four of them talked about fun things to forget about any of their worries. And they kept talking and laughing until the bar closed. 

“Wow,” Inoo said, stretching as he stood up. “I didn’t know it had gotten so late.”

“Man, we have a magazine shoot early tomorrow,” Takaki complained. “Let’s go home.” 

“See you later,” Riku said while Shinji waved goodbye. They lived close enough to walk home. 

Takaki and Inoo walked hand in hand back to his car. Since it was so late, his was the only one in the parking lot. He was about to get into the driver’s seat when Inoo opened the side door and climbed into the backseat. Confused, Takaki opened the door on the other side and saw Inoo giving him a delighted grin.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

Inoo’s smile just widened. “I was hoping maybe you’d join me back here before we went home.” He tried to do some sort of weird seductive thing with his eyebrows, but it only made Takaki laugh. Takaki was sober, but Inoo wasn’t quite there yet. 

“Sure,” Takaki agreed as he climbed inside his car and shut the door behind him. “But don’t blame me when you’re tired at work tomorrow,” he teased.

Inoo waved a hand dismissively. “Who cares about work?” He reached out and Takaki let him pull him forward. And once they kissed, Takaki closed his eyes to let the feelings wash over him. He caressed the side of Inoo’s face slowly. This was when he always felt the most vulnerable, the most exposed. But he felt closer to Inoo every time they kissed. He didn’t want to share this experience with anyone else. 

When Inoo broke away, Takaki moved to kiss the hollow of his neck, and he smiled when Inoo gasped. He felt Inoo’s fingers rub one of his thighs, leaving behind what felt like an invisible trail of heat. It felt entirely _too good_. And with that, Takaki pulled away, knowing that they were getting into dangerous territory. He needed to stop so he could drive home.

Inoo looked disappointed as Takaki leaned back. “That’s it?” he asked. 

“It’s a long drive back home,” Takaki said even as he hovered close to Inoo’s face, trying to decide whether he should give one last kiss. 

Inoo sighed. “Next time, we take the train.” He still looked disappointed but he climbed over the seat awkwardly to settle into the front seat before Takaki could do anything else anyway. 

Even though Inoo might have been frustrated that he cut their makeout session short, Takaki could tell that his boyfriend was much more cheerful than before. The trip to the bar had been successful in reminding Inoo that he wasn’t going through all this alone. Others had gone through the same pain and made it through okay. 

Takaki listened as Inoo quietly hummed different songs until he finally drifted off to sleep while leaning against the window. Maybe, Takaki thought, he could get used to this.

\---

Inoo had never been so grateful for photoshop than when he showed up for the magazine shoot the next morning. Dark circles had appeared under his eyes as a result of the late night and makeup wasn’t doing much to cover it up. But he didn’t care about his tired-looking eyes so much. He was just glad that he wasn’t very hungover. Because if he was hungover, he wouldn’t have the patience to deal with his bandmates ignoring him again. 

They weren’t outright rude to him or Takaki, although Hikaru occasionally shot him some disgusted looks when he didn’t think Inoo was looking. They just tried to pretend he wasn’t there. Only Chinen and Yuto treated him the same as usual. Yuto told Inoo all about his gay cousin who lived in Nagoya, and Chinen had put on a cheerful face while he cracked jokes with Inoo all morning. 

But at the moment, Chinen and Yuto were in the middle of an interview and Takaki was snoring away peacefully in the dressing room. Inoo didn’t have the heart to wake him up knowing how late they had been out last night. It was around lunch time and Inoo had a brief break between shoots and interviews. He’d grabbed a plate of food provided by the catering and looked for a place to settle down to eat. He spotted Yabu sitting over by the window, eating quickly before he had to go back to work. 

“Can I sit here?” Inoo asked. “Or are you trying to pretend I don’t exist either?” 

Yabu opened his mouth to disagree with Inoo’s snide comment, but then just nodded instead. Inoo silently sat down and started to pick through his food. The catered lunch this magazine provided was always sort of disgusting. 

“Sorry,” Yabu said in a voice so quiet Inoo wasn’t even sure he’d heard him correctly. 

“Sorry the food is not very edible today?” Inoo tried a half-hearted attempt at a joke. 

Yabu almost smiled at that before shaking his head. “Sorry about the way I’ve been acting the past few days. I was just shocked, that’s all. I think we all were.” 

“So you’re gonna stop shunning me just because I’m gay?” 

Yabu frowned in embarrassment. “I… I just needed time to get used to the idea. You know? It’s strange to suddenly learn that something you believe about a person has been wrong the whole time. I never guessed you liked guys.” 

Inoo supposed he could admit Yabu had a point. “Well I have been keeping it a secret for a long time.” 

“I’ve been thinking a lot the past few days.” Yabu fiddled with his plate of food. His chopsticks poked at the tasteless mush. “Listen, we’ve been friends a long time, and while I don’t exactly understand it all, I support you. Who you want to date really doesn’t matter to me. So like I said, I’m sorry for avoiding you earlier.” 

Inoo smiled. This was more along the lines of what he had expected and hoped for in the first place. He was glad Yabu had taken the time to explain his point of view. “That means a lot to me.” 

“So… you and Takaki, huh?” Yabu looked more relaxed now that he knew Inoo wasn’t angry with him. “Of all our group members, Takaki is the one I’d least expect you to go for.” 

“It _was_ kind of unexpected,” Inoo admitted with a laugh. “But, I don’t know, I really like him. And actually, we have a lot in common.” 

“Good,” Yabu nodded. 

“And he’s a good kisser,” Inoo added.

“ _That’s_ more than I wanted to know.”

They both finished the edible parts of their lunch just in time for the afternoon’s work. It was a group crosstalk, so the two of them went to rouse Takaki from his nap. He was still fast asleep in a dressing room chair with his head leaning against the wall. It looked uncomfortable. 

“Wake up sleepyhead,” Inoo said, gently poking Takaki’s shoulder. “Time for more work.” 

Takaki grimaced and blinked a few times to shake off the grogginess of his power nap. “Hi there,” he said, voice thick with fatigue. “Did I miss lunch?” 

Inoo was already rummaging around in his bag. “Yeah, but I’ve got an onigiri you can eat. You weren’t missing much with the catering today.” He pulled out a plastic-wrapped rice ball and handed it to Takaki. He watched Takaki’s face light up as he said thanks and took the food. Still needing to get to work, Inoo grabbed Takaki’s free hand and pulled him from the chair. Takaki didn’t complain but instead gripped his hand tighter.

Inoo had forgotten Yabu was in the room too until he turned and notice him watching them. When Takaki noticed as well, he paused in his chewing for a second and made to let go of Inoo’s hand. But Inoo just squeezed his fingers harder. 

For the first time in days, Yabu grinned at Inoo. “You never bring food for the rest of us,” he teased. 

Inoo pointed to Takaki, who was looking quite confused with his mouth half-full of rice. “It’s because I like this one the best,” he teased back. 

“Don’t we have work right now?” Takaki asked slowly. He was a bit clueless to the whole situation because before he’d gone to sleep, as far as he knew Yabu was one of the people uncomfortable with them dating.

“Let’s go,” Inoo said with a wide smile of his own. He could fill Takaki in on the details later. 

After the magazine interview and a few more photo reshoots, they were done for the day. It had gone better than Inoo had expected, considering that half the group was still avoiding him and Takaki. But Yabu’s change in attitude had given Inoo a bit more confidence than before. So while Takaki chatted with Yuto and Yabu, Inoo crossed the room to catch Daiki before he left. 

“Hey Dai-chan,” Inoo called out. “Can I have a minute?” 

Daiki looked like he thought about ignoring him for half a second, but then he answered. “What?” 

Inoo chose to ignore the rude tone. “Do you remember—well maybe you don’t remember, I don’t remember that well. We were both really drunk.” Inoo paused when he realized he was rambling. “I mean, when we were celebrating the end of the tour, we agreed to get dinner together on Friday. Can we still do that? I wanted to talk to you.” 

Daiki was silent as he considered the question. “All right,” he finally said. “We’ll meet at the usual place. I definitely think we need to talk.”

“Yes,” Inoo agreed. 

“I’ve got to go now,” Daiki said and left without giving Inoo a chance to say anything else. 

Inoo breathed a sigh of relief now that the conversation was over. It was about time to fix things with his best friend. For good this time.

\---

Inoo arrived at the restaurant well before the agreed-upon time but Daiki was already there waiting at their usual table in the corner. He was intently focused on browsing the menu even though the two of them had eaten together at this restaurant so many times they already knew all the food choices by heart. Inoo slid into the chair opposite of him. 

“Hey there.” 

Daiki looked up. “…hi.” 

“Do you want me to go ahead and talk now or should we eat first?” Inoo asked lightly. He thought this might be easier if he went in with a positive attitude and pretend like nothing was wrong. 

Daiki closed the menu and set it to the side. “Food first. Maybe I’ll be more willing to listen on a full stomach.” 

Inoo nodded. Daiki wasn’t going to make this easy for him. They ordered their usual favorites and then sat in an awkward silence. Daiki didn’t seem to want to talk, so he stared down at the table. Inoo didn’t know whether he should make conversation or not, so he just folded the edges of his napkin and stared in the direction of the kitchen, hoping that would make their food cook faster. He had no idea how to react in this situation where the minutes seemed to stretch out into hours. 

When the food was finally brought to their table, Inoo sighed in relief. For a moment he forgot about the tension in the air and fell into his usual routine: he automatically separated out the food he didn’t like and placed the pieces on another plate to push over to Daiki. This was just what they did. They always shared their dishes. 

“Do you even know why I’m angry at you?” Daiki asked, the words spilling out of his mouth in a rush and startling Inoo in mid-motion. He paused with his hand hovering over the plate, not sure if he should take the food back or not. 

“I… you don’t want the food?” Inoo knew that’s not what Daiki really meant. 

Daiki grabbed the plate with a sigh and put it beside his own. He picked up his extra serving of rice and set it down in front of Inoo’s food. “I’m not angry about you being gay. Actually, I sort of guessed you might be for a long time. I’m angry because _you didn’t think you could tell me_.” His voice carried every ounce of his anger but Inoo could see the hurt in Daiki’s eyes too. 

“I was afraid,” Inoo said quietly. He chose to look down at his fingers still grasping his barely used chopsticks. “I didn’t know how you would react. I mean, I just didn’t know whether you would hate me or not. It wasn’t that long ago I thought everyone would hate me and I would have to keep this secret to myself forever.” Inoo set the chopsticks down, but his hands felt empty so he picked them up again. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first.” 

“Makes me feel like you don’t trust me,” Daiki said when Inoo hesitantly glanced back up. “I can understand your reasons, but that’s still what it felt like. We’ve been friends for a long time, and we tell each other everything. I just feel real shitty because you’ve been suffering alone when I would have tried to help you. Instead you pulled away so that we’ve hardly had the chance to hang out lately. I thought you were mad at me or something. But really you’ve just been spending all that time with Takaki.” 

Inoo nodded because everything Daiki said was absolutely true. “You’re right. I was avoiding you on purpose because, like I said, I was scared. But that’s not a good excuse. I think I knew somewhere deep down that you’d accept me, but I still wasn’t able to tell you until I gathered up the courage to tell everyone.” He paused, but he couldn’t read Daiki’s face. “Can we be friends again?”

Daiki let out an unexpected short laugh. “We never stopped being friends, you idiot. Yeah, I’ve been mad but I understand. And I should apologize myself for not being supportive. I was avoiding you too back when I should have just talked to you instead.” 

“So… we’re good?” 

Daiki nodded and Inoo felt relief wash over him. This is what he should have done in the beginning. He should have never underestimated Daiki and his friendship. They should have talked ages ago. Takaki had been right, of course. 

“If it makes you feel any better,” Inoo continued, “Takaki wanted me to tell you a long time ago.” 

“I’ll tell him thanks next time I see him,” Daiki smiled. “Of course he’s the more sensible one out of the two of you.” 

Inoo rolled his eyes while he reached for his rice. “I’m sensible!” he protested. 

“You’re wearing socks and sandals.” 

“My feet were cold!” 

Daiki laughed and began to eat the food Inoo didn’t want. They sat in the restaurant for a long time as Inoo explained everything to Daiki, from how he realized he was gay to how he started dating Takaki to finally how he’d told his parents. Hours passed and it was just like nothing was even different. It was just the two of them hanging out as best friends again.

\---

Laundry had always been one of Inoo’s least favorite chores. But sometimes in the Takaki household, he felt like an awful freeloader. So he was attempting to make himself more useful. He had just spent the last fifteen minutes folding dry clothes so he’d have room to hang up the load he’d just washed. It wasn’t difficult, just tedious. But Inoo was thankful that the laundry had only consisted of the family’s t-shirts because he didn’t think he had reached the point in his relationship with Takaki that involved dealing with his dirty underwear. 

While Inoo counted the clothespins, hoping he had enough to hang up the next load, he heard the door open. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Mrs. Takaki holding a laundry basket. She smiled when she noticed what he was doing. 

“You don’t have to worry about the laundry,” she said. She set the basket down and began sorting the clothes. 

“I don’t mind.” Inoo hung up a pair of pants to dry. “I just wanted to help out.”

“I appreciate it,” Mrs. Takaki said. “If only you’d rub off on Yuya and convince him to help with the laundry more often too,” she added as a joke. Inoo laughed. They worked in silence for a few minutes until Mrs. Takaki spoke again. “Have you talked to your parents recently?”

Inoo dropped the clothespin he was holding and then scrambled to pick it up. “Uh… no I haven’t.” He’d ignored the two phone calls he’d received from his mother. He just didn’t know how to face them yet. Not after he’d gotten so angry before. His sister had sent him some more of his things from the house, but he didn’t dare attempt to speak to his parents yet.

“They’re probably worried about you,” she said. 

“Doubtful,” Inoo muttered. 

Mrs. Takaki poured the detergent into the washing machine and closed the lid. “Don’t think that the disagreement between you and your parents means that they don’t care. I understand. Just like I want the best for my children, your parents want the best for you. In their mind, that’s probably the traditional things: a good job, a nice house, and a wife and children. A parent needs time to get used to the idea that their idea of a happy life might not match up with the child’s idea.” 

Inoo’s pile of laundry he had to hang up lay forgotten nearby for the moment. “Is that what you thought too? You wanted traditional happiness for Yuya?” 

The only sound in the room was the quiet hum of the washing machine as Mrs. Takaki turned it on. “I did at first.”

“But you’re okay with us dating now?” 

Mrs. Takaki smiled. “I’ve had some time to get used to the idea. I’ve suspected for years that Yuya liked boys. I had just been waiting for him to tell me.” 

“How did you figure it out?” Inoo asked.

“Oh, right around the time he started hiding shoujo manga under his bed instead of dirty magazines like his brother did,” she joked with a lighthearted tone.

Inoo laughed again. Mrs. Takaki’s words made him feel more at ease, like maybe there was still hope to fix things with his family. He just needed to be patient. He turned back to his laundry pile and began hanging the clothes up again, but Mrs. Takaki waved him away. 

“I think Yuya is home,” she said casually as she grabbed a handful of his clothespins. 

Taking the hint, Inoo left Mrs. Takaki alone and went to search for his boyfriend. Predictably, he found Takaki in his bedroom, seated on the floor as he looked through some papers. Inoo flopped down onto the bed with a happy sigh. 

“What’s up?” Takaki asked. He didn’t look up from his papers. 

“I’m just in a good mood now,” Inoo answered. Takaki was leaning with his back up against the bed. He just nodded in response, still more focused on whatever he was looking for. Inoo stretched his foot out and poked the middle of Takaki’s back. 

“What’re you looking for?” Inoo asked. 

Takaki examined one sheet of paper and then tossed it to the side. “Yuto wrote down some directions for me the other day. He recommended a restaurant that had really amazing gyudon. I thought we could go together.” He frowned and discarded a few more papers. 

Inoo decided that the frown just didn’t suit Takaki’s face. He poked him again with his foot and gleefully waited for the response. 

“Gross,” Takaki complained.

Inoo grinned. “My feet aren’t gross.”

“They’re sweaty.” Takaki turned around and got a foot to the side of his face. “Ugh.” 

“Really? You sure?” Inoo questioned with a laugh. He kept laughing until Takaki quickly grabbed his ankle and showed him a devious grin of his own. The action made Inoo’s skin tingle with anticipation. Something told him that Takaki was about to get revenge.

Takaki leapt up onto the bed and Inoo reached out to pull him closer. They came together for an eager kiss as Takaki pressed him into the mattress. Inoo reached out for his hand and laced their fingers together. As much as he was enjoying this, Inoo still wanted to tease Takaki. He moved his foot so that it brushed against Takaki’s leg. He was wearing shorts, so Inoo took his time dragging his foot along the bare skin, feeling the tense calf muscles. Takaki just kissed him harder until they had to stop to catch their breaths. 

Inoo smirked. “And I thought you said you didn’t have any weird fetishes, but you totally like my feet.” 

Takaki buried his face in the bed. “Shut up.” 

“Let’s go on a date soon,” Inoo said. One of his hands was still grasping Takaki’s, fingers laced together like they had been made that way. He rested his other hand on Takaki’s shoulder. It was kind of uncomfortable with Takaki still lying on top of him, but he didn’t mind. “You can ask Yuto for those directions again and we’ll go eat really amazing gyudon.” 

“Mm-hmm,” Takaki agreed. He pressed a light kiss to the side of Inoo’s nose. 

They stayed like that for a while, talking quietly about nothing important. Inoo decided that this wasn’t the traditional happiness that everyone expected, but it was _his_ happiness. And that’s all that mattered to him. 

\---

Inoo had this one pair of sunglasses that always made him feel like a Hollywood movie star whenever he wore them. And today felt like a good day to wear them. The weather was nice and the sun was bright as he sat in the car waiting for Takaki. Inoo had stretched out like a cat, resting his flip-flopped feet on the dashboard and his hands behind his head. If Takaki didn’t hurry up, he might just take a nap right there.

“Sorry, sorry,” Takaki apologized as he finally climbed into the car, excitedly waving a piece of paper in the air. “I found the directions.”

“I can’t believe you lost them _again_ ,” Inoo chuckled as he took his feet off the dash and sat up straight. He took the directions to Yuto’s so-called _amazing_ gyudon restaurant from Takaki’s hands and then placed his fancy sunglasses on Takaki’s nose. “How very stylish,” he commented on his handiwork as Takaki smirked at him from over the top of the glasses. 

After a moment, the smirk turned into a genuine smile as Takaki started the car. “Okay Navigator, let’s hit the road.”

Takaki was about to add something else but Inoo interrupted with a gleeful exclamation of “ganbaretsugo!” quoting the name of 7’s popular song from a few years ago. 

“Laaaame,” Takaki declared as he tried to hide the pout on his face.

Inoo grinned. “Are you upset because I made that joke before you did?” Teasing Takaki was just too easy sometimes.

“…no,” Takaki muttered and looked away. 

“Hey, how come you’re the one always driving?” Inoo asked as soon as they got out onto the highway. Yuto’s restaurant recommendation was actually located outside of Tokyo and who knows how he’d even stumbled across the restaurant in the first place. Knowing Yuto, he’d probably just taken three wrong turns and misunderstood some directions from an old lady. It had happened before.

“I’m always driving because _you_ drive like a maniac,” Takaki answered. 

“ _Maniac_ is such as strong word…”

“I’d like to live until our next concert, okay?” 

Inoo snorted and glanced at the directions again. “Oh,” he said, “we should have turned left five blocks ago.”

“You’re also a terrible navigator.”

After what seemed like forever (“Yuto’s directions _suck_. What does turn right at the giant hat even mean??”), they finally made it to the restaurant. It was a tiny building and not really very exciting looking. But there was a good amount of people inside, showing that it was definitely a popular place to eat. And it turned out that the gyudon was actually _amazing_ just as advertised. Of course they teased each other while they ate, each one pretending that the food wasn’t that good while secretly sneaking bites off the other’s plate when they thought they weren’t looking. 

“So where do you want to go next?” Takaki asked as they left the restaurant. “This date was your idea so I’m looking forward to what you’ve got in mind.” 

Inoo pursed his lips. He felt like he had eaten entirely too much. “Well… I hadn’t really planned the whole thing out yet.” 

“Really?” Takaki’s voice was full of amused disbelief. 

“But hey,” Inoo continued, “I’m sure we’ll find something fun around here if we look hard enough.” 

“Ganbaretsugo~” Takaki said and made a determined pose. 

Inoo just gave him a deadpan stare. “It’s not as funny the second time.” 

“You’re just jealous that I beat you to it this time,” Takaki stuck out his tongue like a five-year-old. 

“Get in the car.”

They drove around and around but it didn’t seem like there was much else here in this small little town outside of the city. Just when they were about to give up, something caught Inoo’s eye and he got really excited.

“ONSEN!” Inoo shouted. He grabbed and shook Takaki’s shoulder with one hand and pointed at the sign with his other. 

“Don’t make me wreck the car, you crazy,” Takaki grumbled as he tried not to run off the road with his sudden impaired vision. He ducked his head underneath Inoo’s outstretched arm and navigated the car into the hot springs’ parking lot. 

“I just thought a visit to the onsen would be wonderful after our excellent lunch,” Inoo said with his most innocent voice. 

Takaki put the car in park and took the keys out of the ignition. “I gotta admit, it does sound like a nice idea.” 

“Great!” Inoo exclaimed and hopped out of the car. “Ganbarets—”

“We’re not doing that joke anymore!” Takaki cut him off quickly. He followed Inoo inside the building.

It was just a normal hot springs, and it wasn’t long before they were both settled down in the hot water up to their necks. Inoo thought the warmth felt like a fluidic blanket wrapped around his skin. That was always what he enjoyed most about visiting an onsen, that warm feeling of protection. It was just so calm and relaxing. And he could use some relaxing with how life had been lately. 

“I could fall asleep right here,” Inoo said. He was shoulder to shoulder with Takaki as they sat together at the edge of the water.

“I can’t enjoy this if I have to keep you from drowning,” Takaki joked. He had his eyes closed and a peaceful look on his face.

Inoo took one of his fingers and poked Takaki hard in the side. “You’re not allowed to sleep either then.” 

Takaki opened his eyes just so he could roll them at Inoo. He also grabbed Inoo’s hand and pulled it under the surface of the water so he wouldn’t poke him again. Inoo knew that Takaki liked holding his hand anyway, so he didn’t complain. There weren’t many people in the onsen so their flirting went unnoticed. 

“How are you?” Takaki asked without any warning. It seemed like a weird question to ask when they’d already spent the whole day together so far. 

“I’m fine,” Inoo answered slowly. “Not pruney yet.” He lifted his free hand out of the water to show that his fingers were still smooth. 

Takaki snorted and shook his head. “No, geez, I meant how are _you_?” He paused and continued with a gentler voice. “Like with the group and your parents and everything? I just want to make sure you’re happy.” 

A sudden emotion swept over Inoo and he wasn’t sure what it was. He knew that Takaki cared about him—obviously since they were dating and all—but he didn’t think he’d ever seen Takaki show such tender concern about someone else before. It made him feel good that somebody was taking the time to check on how he was feeling. 

“I’m okay,” Inoo answered honestly. “I’m okay. It’s still tough, you know. Yamada and Keito are avoiding me still and Hikaru keeps giving us disgusted looks when he thinks I’m not looking. But the rest of the guys are okay with us and aren’t treating me weird anymore. As for my parents… I think they’ll understand one day.” He held onto Takaki’s hand just a little tighter. “I’m glad that I told you my secret that night we were drinking together. I don’t know what would have happened if I had kept holding onto it all by myself, but I don’t think it would have been good.” He could still clearly remember that feeling of being pressed down by a wall, all that pressure of having to hide everything away. Takaki had helped that feeling go away, and now it was replaced by a different feeling. That sudden emotion he couldn’t identify. 

Inoo wondered if that strange unidentified feeling might be love. But he wasn’t sure.

“But what about you?” Inoo asked, turning to look Takaki straight in the eyes. “How are you adjusting to everything?” 

“Hmm…” Takaki considered the question. “I’m okay too. Everyone in the group has pretty much left me alone. But I don’t mind that very much, so I can deal with it.” 

“I didn’t mean to drag you along in all this,” Inoo apologized. He was glad Takaki had been by his side, but he didn’t want to make him suffer too. 

“Don’t apologize,” Takaki said quietly. “This has been good for me too. My relationship with… _that guy_ really messed me up more than I’d realized. But you’ve helped me move past my mistakes and helped me learn to not hate myself anymore.” 

Inoo smiled and leaned his head against Takaki’s shoulder, not caring that the display was probably too overly affectionate for a public bath. But then he remembered that there was something important he wanted to tell Takaki. It was going to ruin the nice moment but he had to say it.

“I’ve got to tell you something,” Inoo said and straightened back up. 

“What’s that?”

“I’m moving out.”

Takaki looked slightly disappointed but tried to hide it quickly. “Oh… well…”

“I can’t live off your parents’ hospitality forever,” Inoo explained so that Takaki wouldn’t get the wrong idea. “As much as I’ve enjoyed being closer to you, and trust me, I have _really_ enjoyed it, I need to find my own place to live. I’m not going back to my parents’ house.” 

Takaki nodded in understanding. “It’s your decision.”

“Yes,” Inoo nodded too, “it’s my decision. And I want you to visit me as often as you want to. I’ll give you a key and everything.” 

“Aren’t we still taking this slow?” 

“I’m not asking you to move in with me. Not yet anyway. But I think we can find a new balance like this.” After a lot of careful thinking, Inoo knew this is what he had to do. 

“I’ll support you in any way you need me to.” 

Inoo smiled once again. He didn’t let go of Takaki’s hand even though he was sure he’d finally spent enough time in the water for his fingers to turn pruney and gross. Now he was almost positive that the feeling he felt was love. 

He noticed that Takaki was suddenly giving him a very intense stare. “What?” he asked.

“I really want to kiss you right now,” Takaki said in a voice Inoo had to strain to hear. 

“Then let’s get out of here and find someplace to be alone,” Inoo grinned. 

\---

“I think it’s fine,” Takaki whined. He kept trying to lean away and escape from Inoo’s hands.

Inoo ignored his protests and continued to fiddle with Takaki’s tie. “No, it’s crooked.” He loosened it and then tightened it up again. Takaki squirmed a bit but Inoo just gave him a silly smile in response. He thought Takaki’s reaction was cute. The whole group had some kind of fancy company event to attend in a couple hours, so they were getting ready now that dance practice was over.

“You should just leave the tie like it is,” Hikaru piped up from the other side of the room. “You know, not straight.” 

The smile instantly disappeared from Inoo’s face. In the past week, Hikaru had stopped ignoring him and had switched to giving Inoo a constant barrage of jokes about his sexuality. For the most part, the group had gotten used to Inoo and Takaki being together but there were still moments of discomfort with Yamada and Keito, who still didn’t know how to react around them. Inoo didn’t think it was a malicious sort of action. The two of them just didn’t seem to know many people who were openly gay and therefore were sort of clueless about the whole thing. Hikaru, on the other hand, hadn’t spoken a word to either of them for a whole two weeks. But Inoo suspected Yabu had said something to him because he’d suddenly switched back to speaking again, only now it was just to make jokes at his expense. 

Takaki gave him a ‘just ignore it’ look but Inoo was tired of it. He felt like he was at the end of his rope. Sure, Hikaru joked around with everyone, but none of them had to endure constant jokes about their sexuality.

“Can you stop it?” Inoo asked. 

“Stop what?” Hikaru asked looking innocent. 

All nine of them were crowded into their small changing room, and suddenly it felt entirely too small, like the walls were closing in. 

“Stop making fun of us.” 

Hikaru rolled his eyes. “It’s just a harmless joke. Don’t be so sensitive about it.” 

“Sensitive?” Inoo shot back. He raised his voice without even meaning to. One by one the conversation around the room dropped off to watch what was happening. “I’d be sensitive if it was one or two jokes but this has been a _constant_ thing for the past week.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is.” Hikaru never knew when to drop an argument. 

“The big deal is that you keep bringing up that I’m gay and Takaki’s bi. You keep mentioning it over and over again and making it into a joke. Stop defining me by just one part of my life. I am _a person_. Takaki Yuya is _a person. You are a person_. We’re not some stereotype you see on TV. It shouldn’t matter who we’re attracted to and who we want to have sex with. That’s not my entire life, you know.” 

“I agree,” Takaki said quietly, his messed up tie long forgotten.

But Inoo couldn’t stop the words once they’d started flowing. He’d been building up to letting these feelings out for a while. “You’ve all been acting like we’ve changed. Like we’ve suddenly flipped a switch and turned gay. But we haven’t. I have always been like this. I have always been attracted to boys, but I’ve had to spend my whole life hiding it. Because it’s people like you,” he pointed to Hikaru, “who make me feel like there’s something wrong with me. There’s nothing wrong with any of us. Why should it even matter to any of you? Did you know that there are people out in the world who are self-destructive because they don’t have any sort of support for how they’re feeling? Did you know that there are parents out there who will throw their children out on the street for being ‘different’? Did you know that there are people who deny themselves happiness simply because they have to hide a part of themselves away every single day? Did you know that?” Inoo took a breath. “So I would appreciate it if you would not make jokes like this anymore. We’re happy together, so please just keep your mouth shut over things you know _nothing about_.” 

He reached out for Takaki’s hand and it was instantly there, fingers lacing together smoothly. He felt better now that he’d gotten to say all of that even if it might not have made much sense to them. The faces around the room varied from shocked to shamed to understanding. 

Yamada looked particularly upset as he processed what Inoo had just told them. He looked like he really _hadn’t_ ever considered before some of the things Inoo had said. “Did… you…” Yamada began very hesitantly, “did your parents kick you out?” Yamada looked devastated at the idea of someone doing that to their children. Inoo knew he was very close with his own parents. 

“They didn’t kick me out but they didn’t accept me either. I chose to leave,” Inoo admitted. Takaki and Daiki were the only ones who had known that. “I’ve just been temporarily staying with Takaki but I’ll be moving out once I find a place.”

Yamada looked like he was going to cry and without any warning he threw his arms around Inoo in a tight hug, wrinkling up both their suits. “I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. I’m sorry that I didn’t know. And that I haven’t been a very good friend lately.” 

The sudden affection startled Inoo but it also made him feel better. “Don’t worry about it. Things will be okay. I just… wanted to let you all know how I felt.” 

Yamada stepped away again and sheepishly scratched the back of his head in embarrassment for his sudden emotional outburst. “Sorry again,” he said and then turned to Takaki. “And sorry I hugged your boyfriend.” 

Takaki snorted and then smiled. “I forgive you,” he teased. 

“I’ll admit that I didn’t understand everything,” Keito spoke up. “I didn’t realize what you guys have been going through. I’m sorry too.” 

Inoo patted Keito’s shoulder and gave him a friendly smile. This was easier now that he’d said everything out loud. Now that there weren’t any more secrets. “Now you know, so it’s okay.” He turned to face the whole group again. “Let’s just get things back to normal again, okay? We’re not different, remember? We haven’t changed. That’s all I ask for.” 

“Of course,” Yabu said. 

“Group hug!” Yuto insisted and he threw his arms wide open to begin, accidentally smacking Daiki in the side. 

“Okay fine,” Inoo pretended to sound exasperated but actually he was quite happy. And they all hugged but when they pulled apart, Inoo realized someone was missing. “Where did Hikaru go?”

They all looked at each other but no one had noticed him slip out of the room earlier. Inoo wondered if he’d only made things worse with Hikaru by his outburst earlier. In hindsight, maybe he shouldn’t have snapped in front of the entire group. But he had meant every word he’d said. 

“I’ll go look for him,” Inoo said. “We’ve got some time before we have to be at the meeting.” He’d already cleaned up and finished changing into his clothes for later. A few of them suggested that they’d go with him, but Inoo figured that he should find Hikaru himself. 

He wandered the halls, checking all the rooms and asking anyone he passed if they’d seen Hikaru. But no luck. He wasn’t anywhere to be found. Inoo was beginning to get a bit worried. He had no idea that Hikaru would be so bothered by this. But Inoo knew he wouldn’t apologize to Hikaru if he’d been offended. Inoo had seen what happened to people when they tried to ignore their true selves. He’d seen how badly that had affected Takaki. He wasn’t going to apologize for one word of what he’d said.

With no success in finding his missing bandmate, Inoo plopped down in a chair in an empty meeting room. He put his head down on the table and sighed. Maybe he would just stay like this for a few minutes—he was still wiped out from dance practice earlier anyway—and then he could resume his search. 

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed in that position. He was about to doze off when he heard footsteps enter the room. Looking up, he was surprised to see Hikaru standing there with some papers in his hand. 

“I was looking for you,” Inoo said.

“Behind your eyelids?” Hikaru joked, trying to ease the tension. Ironic since joking was what had gotten him in trouble in the first place.

“I was taking a break.” Inoo stood up. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say now that Hikaru was actually in front of him.

“Yabu told me you were looking for me. Here,” he thrust the papers towards Inoo. “This is my apology.”

“A… polo…gy?” Inoo wasn’t expecting that. He thought Hikaru had disappeared because he had been furious. He glanced down at the papers to see them filled with Hikaru’s messy handwriting. There were names, addresses, and numbers written down. “What is this?”

Hikaru looked slightly embarrassed. “An apartment list. It was rushed so I didn’t get to gather as much information that I wanted to. But it’s sorted by location and price.” 

Inoo blinked because he couldn’t believe what was going on. “You’re not mad at me for yelling at you earlier?” 

Hikaru frowned and shook his head. “No, you were right. I never thought about how my teasing might feel for someone else. I just can’t quite wrap my head around it, you know. The idea of guys liking guys and girls liking girls. Stuff like that. I don’t understand. When I don’t understand things, I joke about them. So I’m sorry.”

Inoo lightly whacked Hikaru on the top of his head with the papers. “If you’d just told me that in the beginning, we wouldn’t be here right now. I’m not gonna ask you to approve of my relationship or anything. I just want to be treated the same as I was before.” 

Hikaru nodded. “I’ll think more next time before I put my big foot in my mouth.”

Inoo laughed and then looked a bit closer at the papers in his hand. “So… apartments huh?” 

“When you said that you weren’t living with your parents anymore and were looking for a new place, I knew that I could help you. If you give me another few hours, I can put together a whole spreadsheet for you. It’s just that… you shouldn’t have to deal with all that shit.” 

“Thank you.” He smiled and things felt like they were okay again. 

“We’re supposed to be at our meeting soon,” Hikaru reminded him. “And you’ve got a huge pink spot on your forehead from lying on the table.” 

Inoo sighed and brushed his bangs forward to cover it up. He picked up the apartment papers and folded them so they’d fit into his pocket. “Let’s go then. And afterwards, you tell me all about these apartments you looked up.”

“Deal.” This time Hikaru grinned, showing a full view of his crooked teeth. 

\---

Inoo stretched and surveyed the room around him, a product of his, Daiki’s, and Takaki’s hard work. A few weeks had passed and things had changed a bit. The group was back to its old routine with everyone working together like nothing was different. They still complained about PDA every now and then when Takaki would wrap him up in a hug or when Inoo would plant wet kisses on Takaki’s cheek whenever he wasn’t expecting it. But generally, there weren’t many problems. And Hikaru’s list had been extremely helpful. Inoo had quickly found the perfect apartment for himself. It wasn’t too big or small, it was near the train station, and the price was reasonable. 

He and Takaki and Daiki had spent all day moving boxes and shuffling things around. It looked good. It had been a long day but things were falling into place. Daiki had left to go home not too long ago, leaving only Takaki behind. 

His boyfriend was currently sprawled out face down on the mattress. Inoo and Daiki had made him move the kitchen table a few times while they tried to figure out the best place for it. “Is this a punishment?” Takaki had kept saying as he pushed the table around while they discussed the merits having natural lighting on the table or not. Inoo could tell that Takaki was tired from the long day. 

Inoo smiled and lay down beside Takaki, slinging an arm out over his body. Takaki turned his face so he could see Inoo. “I like your new place,” Takaki said.

“It’s pretty nice, yeah,” he agreed. He shifted so that he was lying on his side and Takaki followed suit just so it’d be easier to talk. “It feels like I can easily get used to this palce.”

“Even the stove?” Takaki added with a smirk.

“We agreed to never speak of that again.”

Earlier they had taken a break from shuffling furniture around to examine the kitchen appliances and Inoo had had a _bit_ of trouble with the stove. But he was proud that he hadn’t accidentally burned down his new place on the first day. At least not yet. 

Takaki looked unapologetic for his comment and leaned forward to kiss Inoo hard on the lips. Inoo reached out and ran his fingers across Takaki’s back, shoulders, and then chest. He would never get tired of the feeling of Takaki’s warm skin and muscles under his fingers. Things had changed so much since he’d admitted his secret to Takaki in that hotel room. It seemed like it was forever ago. Inoo broke away from Takaki’s kiss and shifted so that he could press a few kisses to the other’s collarbone. He pressed his lips against the bone, again relishing the feeling and appreciating the sound Takaki made in response. If someone had told him a year ago this is what he’d be doing with Takaki, he would have laughed. It almost didn’t seem real. 

“Kei,” Takaki breathed and Inoo stopped to look up at him. Takaki took advantage of the distraction to press a rough kiss to Inoo’s neck, making him gasp in shock. But he quickly surrendered to the pleasant feeling, closing his eyes again to just enjoy it. He didn’t know how long they continued on until they took a break, lying beside each other on the bed, arms still wrapped around each other. 

“Yuya,” Inoo began. He let his fingers brush against Takaki’s shoulders again while he looked around his new bedroom. It was still a little plain right now but he knew that he would quickly make it look like a real home, adding his own personal touches everywhere. And he knew Takaki would be there often enough to add his as well. “Yuya, I’m just really happy right now.” 

Things weren’t perfect, he knew that. He still hadn’t been able to fix things with his parents yet, but that would be a bridge he would have to slowly cross one step at a time. But he finally felt like he could do it. He was gonna make it. Before he’d told anyone his secret, he’d felt like he was suffocating under the weight of keeping it all inside. Not being able to rely on anyone else to help him through when things were tough. His secret had only been hurting him, destroying him from the inside out. The secret was a wall trapping him somewhere he didn’t want to be. And Takaki had pulled him out of that dark place without even realizing it. 

“I’m really happy too,” Takaki said. His head was sinking slowly into one of the pillows, and Inoo almost laughed because his hair looked like a mess. Such a rare thing for Takaki. 

“I know I’ve said this before, but I’m really glad I told you my secret,” Inoo said. “I feel so much better since then. And I’m glad you shared yours with me too.” 

“It’s really great, isn’t it?” Takaki agreed. 

Inoo smiled. “I’ve got another secret to tell you.” 

“What’s that?” 

Inoo leaned close to Takaki’s ear and whispered, “I love you.”

He didn’t think he’d ever seen Takaki look so happy before in his life. His entire face was radiant with happiness. “I love you too.” 

Inoo felt so happy he thought he would just float away if not for Takaki’s arms anchoring him down to reality. Those walls that the secrets had created had crumbled back down to the ground, disintegrating into nothingness. And Inoo felt like he could climb past the rubble and keep moving forward with Takaki.


End file.
